Ministry Mentors

I am currently on the Board of an organization called Ministry Mentors (www.ministrymentors.org).  Ministry Mentors, founded in 1999, is an organization dedicated to mentoring support for Christian clergy — “Serving those who serve.”   We currently have about 45 mentors in 10 states and have mentored hundreds of Christian pastors.  Our mentors (all experienced clergy) are Lutheran, Methodist, Roman Catholic, Covenant, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, United Church of Christ and Disciples of Christ.

Because of the great variety of skills required, being a pastor is one of the toughest jobs around.   Ministry Mentors provides a confidential one-on-one spiritually-based opportunity for pastors to strengthen their professional and personal effectiveness.  And – it’s free to pastors.  Any readers who are pastors (or those who would like to learn more) can check out the website (above) or contact me with any questions.     

You have GOT to be kidding

I have gone from the heights (see post of August 25) to the depths.  I have just learned that Tom Cruise has been picked to play Jack Reacher in the film version of Lee Child’s classic novel — One Shot.  This is like asking Pee Wee Herman to play Conan the Barbarian. 

Tom Cruise might be okay playing a small samurai – but Jack Reacher?  Jack Reacher is an ex military policeman turned drifter – who looks like an NFL lineman.  He stands 6’5″ and weighs 250 pounds.  Cruise is like a foot shorter and 100 pounds lighter(!).    I mean come ON people.  Is there no integrity in casting?  I could have tried out for this part and. . . . wait a minute.  I need to find out if tryouts are still going on.    ‘Scuse me. . . . .

Eagle Scout Politicians

I am an Eagle Scout.  I grew up with – and was inculcated with – the Scout Oath:  “On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law.  To help other people at all times.  To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.”  The Scout Law added further obligation:  “A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.”  All of the Eagle Scouts I know continue to try and live their lives according to these solemn oaths though Donna doesn’t always feel I’m obedient when she asks me to take the garbage out or clean the garage.    I’m not real cheerful about that stuff either. . . .      

When I see the gridlock in Washington, it seems too bad we don’t have more Eagle Scouts running the country.   I would wager that Democratic and Republican Eagle Scouts would get along a far sight better and work a lot more diligently than the parade of horrors found in Washington today.   They would sing campfire songs while drinking beer at the Old Ebbitt Grill,  they would hike to the office with backpacks doing good deeds along the way.  And most importantly, they would take seriously – very seriously – their duty to this great country, their obligation to be thrifty and the promise to “help other people at all times.”    

Saturday lunch

Saturday lunch is the quirkiest meal that I have during the week if I am not golfing.  It has been for years.  Why?  Because I never know quite what to have.  I usually end up grazing in the refrigerator and pantry and slap together some odd bodkin agglomeration of whatever I can find.  If I find nothing, I will dash out to the local Treasure Island and buy a few pieces of spanikopita.  Regardless of what I have, Saturday lunch is rarely satisfying.  A few Saturdays ago, however, all that changed.  Dramatically. 

There is an old adage that if you give a monkey a typewriter and enough time (and paper), he will eventually tap out a serviceable poem or intelligent article (see  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_monkey_theorem_in_popular_culture).  Well after decades of trial and error, this chimp came up with a winner of a Saturday lunch. 

I sliced a baguette thinly.  Then spread a layer of Champagne (or honey) mustard, added some smoked salmon, a wedge of fresh avocado and some crumbly chive goat cheese.  I nuked it for about 30 seconds and – voila!   It was a Saturday lunch destined for the time capsule.  I made extra and served it to Donna and she immediately asked for the recipe.  That was a true endorsement of my creation. 

From then on, I have been scrupulous about keeping the ingredients close at hand.  And I can’t wait for Saturday lunch. . . . .    

Born to Sweat

As some of you know, I’m a trademark lawyer.  As such, I sometimes come up with trademarks of my own.  BORN TO SWEAT is one of them.  I had t-shirts made with the t-shirt image I am wearing on the left.  And of course I wear my t-shirts to the local fitness center where I sweat quite appropriate to the trademark (and look much like I do on the left).   

Last year we were out for dinner with some friends and I happened to mention that I had applied to register (and now have registered) the BORN TO SWEAT trademark.  Our good friend said “Scott, horses sweat, men perspire – and women glow.”  Hmmmmmmm . . . . I thought . . . . .women glow?  Born to Glow.   Hey – that sounds good!  So now – thanks to our friend – BORN TO GLOW is a registered trademark too. 

I have absolutely no clue what I will ever do with these trademarks so if anyone has an idea . . . . .

 

September

September 1st.  Rabbit rabbit.  You’re wondering how in the world do I go from April 1st (previous post) to September 1st??  That’s how I feel about how summer has flown.   

In any given year in the history of time, no other month on the calendar will end on the same day as September ends.  This year, September ends on a Friday.  No other month in 2011 ends on Friday.  In 2010, September 30th was a Thursday and – sure enough – no other month ended on that day. 

September always begins on the same day as December begins.  There are 91 days separating the two dates and because 91 is divisible by 7, the rest is history.  And speaking of history, September means “seventh” month.  Yet it’s the 9th month in our calendar.  We can blame the Romans.  Actually, September was the seventh month of the Roman calendar.  Until 153 B.C. that is. . . .

Finally, September 1st is the beginning of meteorological autumn in the Northern Hemisphere (just as it introduces spring in the Southern Hemisphere).  And frankly, I’m ready for spring. . . . .    

April Fools!

The first  mention of “April Fools Day” as being on April 1st was in Chaucer’s Canturbury Tales in 1392 (in the “Nun’s Priest’s Tale”).   

Jonathan Swift (1665-1745) was the foremost prose satirist for the English language.  And he was also a twinkle-in-the-eye practical joker who authored a doozy of an April Fools’ prank bringing the tradition to a whole new level.  In February 1708, using the name “Isaac Bickerstaff,” he published an article solemnly predicting that John Partridge, a local author of astrological almanacs, would die at 11:00 p.m. on March 29, 1708.  All of London held its collective breath.  When the fateful day arrived, Swift – still writing as Isaac Bickerstaff – penned a moving obituary announcing the death of Partridge at 7:05 p.m.  — four hours earlier than predicted. 

Of course Mr. Partridge was very much alive – and outraged over the prediction and reporting of his death.  Because the story of John Partridge’s demise was printed on April 1st, there was ignition and lift off for a new – and more creative – breed of April Fool pranks.  I think I’d like to have Jonathan Swift join Aristophanes and me at that dinner. . . . .   

Aristophanes

A few years ago, I was asked in a biographical sketch who I would most like to have dinner with.  My answer?  Aristophanes.   Called by his contemporaries “Old Baggy Pants.”  See  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aristophanes

Aristophanes (448 B.C. – 385 B.C.), the Athenian satirist, was probably the world’s first stand-up comedian (“I’d love to be a stand-up comic but I don’t have the legs for it“).  He was well-educated and began writing satires in his teens.  He wrote more than 40 plays of which only 11 have survived. 

The first play penned under his own name was The Knights (424 B.C.).  It was a scathing satire about the Athenian politician and military leader Cleon – the arrogant demagogue who succeeded Pericles.  Cleon is aptly depicted in the play as a bloated and intoxicated lout – whose face and tunic are always smeared with wine.  It is said that Aristophanes sometimes played the part of Cleon – lurching onto stage, staggering around – because he wanted to make sure the part was played “properly.”  The spoof was wonderfully popular with everyone in Athens — except for Cleon who sent messengers to Aristophanes to suggest strongly that he “cool it.” 

In the world of literature, the satiric works of Ben Jonson and Henry Fielding were especially influenced by Aristophanes.  Examine the comedies of Shakespeare and you will find the tongue-in-cheek humor of Aristophanes swimming beneath the surface.

If we sat down to dinner, I’d order the spaghetti carbonara for both of us  — with a nice Barolo (see post of July 27th).   Then we’d start telling jokes. . . . .  

I can’t wait. . . .

I can’t wait for the next Lee Child novel.  Lee Child’s hulking protagonist is Jack Reacher – a retired Army military police major who travels around the country often by hitchhiking and paying cash for everything.  And for some inexplicable reason he’s always finding trouble.  Jack is every man’s man.   I have read all of Lee Child’s Jack Reacher books:  61 Hours; Tripwire; Nothing to Lose; Bad Luck and Trouble; The Enemy; and the others.  WOW!  http://www.leechild.com

The other author whose books I greatly enjoy – and eagerly await – are those of Vince Flynn.  Flynn’s main character is Mitch Rapp – a deep-cover CIA prince of darkness who is very very good at “eliminating” very very bad people. http://www.vinceflynn.com    

Winston Churchill once said  “We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.”   Maybe we should consider sending Jack and Mitch over to the world’s trouble spots.  I’d love to see a book or movie where Jack and Mitch are booked as a tag team.  That would be cosmic.   If you ever need some easy reading where it’s easy to smile at the end . . . . .  

Daisy

My wife and I have a 10 pound gray miniature poodle named “Daisy.”  To say Daisy is smart would be an understatement.  Daisy is smarter than some lawyers I know and most politicians I know of.  And probably brighter than me on some occasions.  When you talk to her, she looks you right square in the eye as if she’s trying to figure out “just what language is he speaking?” 

Daisy is a certified therapy dog – with the Canine Therapy Corps in Chicago (www.caninetherapycorps.org).   Canine Therapy Corps has nearly 75 dogs who work in 15 area hospitals.  It is a wonderful program that provides animal-assisted therapy often in collaboration with physicians and attending staff. 

Daisy went to school for nearly two years to get certified in this wonderful program.  Daisy and Donna work on Wednesday afternoons at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago.  Since Daisy responds to voice and motion commands (both of which Donna says I have trouble with), Daisy works with stroke and spinal cord injury patients who are working on speech and movement.  To watch Daisy “on the job” is a treat.  Daisy dances, twirls, sits, stays, barks, marches, and does level 1 calculus all while working with the patients.  When working with children, sometimes a little boy or girl will just want to hold Daisy.  And that’s just fine too.  

When Daisy gets home, she takes off her blue vest and kicks back – knocking down a few liver treats and taking a walk.  Then – exhausted from the day – Daisy heads upstairs to bed to dream of table scraps and fire hydrants. . . .