The 1000 Pound Man

On By scottpetersenIn The thousand pound manLeave a comment

The heaviest person in the world weighs 1,076 pounds. He is about 5 feet 8 inches “tall.” The regulation National Hockey League goal is 6 feet by 4 feet.   You see where I’m going?? 

I have long felt that the Chicago Blackhawks could win the Stanley Cup every year by simply recruiting the largest people in the world to be the goalie.  You upholster them in padding, mask and protective gear, give them a stick and stuff them into the goal and let them take a nap. Every shot on goal would simply bounce off the goalie. Defense would become a thing of the past. The goalie would go into the history books and the Blackhawks would win the Stanley Cup every year.

The only “hitch” would be that other teams might start recruiting similarly-endowed goalies.  Games would typically end 0 to 0.  Shootouts in overtime could go on for years . . . .

The “Big Lesson”

On By scottpetersenIn Augustana College, Chicago Literary Club, Dr. Stanley EricksonLeave a comment

In my prior post on “College,” I mentioned a “big lesson” from Dr. Erickson.  I spoke of this lesson in a paper delivered to the Chicago Literary Club on April 2, 2007 (see www.chilit.org).

September.  Freshman year. My second or third week of college.  On academic probation.  Dr. Erickson was teaching a course in political science. I had been slouched in my chair, probably doodling and not paying much attention to the class. Suddenly, I heard my name “Mister Petersen.”  It was Dr. Erickson asking me to answer a question. With considerable ease, I looked up and offered “I’m not prepared” and I went back to whatever it was I was doing.

Dr. Erickson padded over and stood by my seat. “Stand up,” he said. I looked up. “Stand up,” he repeated. So I stood up.

“Mister Petersen, so you’re not prepared?  Well, let me tell you – if you’re not prepared to answer a simple question, you will probably not be prepared to answer the tough ones. You’re not prepared today so I would bet, Mister Petersen, that you will not be prepared tomorrow either.  Perhaps you don’t care.  And if that’s the case, I feel sorry for you.”

The sweat began trickling down my neck. And he went on.

“Mister Petersen, you have two choices in life. To try and be prepared for what needs to be done. Or not.“

Dr. Erickson finished his comments and from that day forward, I was never again unprepared for his class (duhhh – I’m not as dumb as I look).  I was generally quick to raise my hand and I was usually ready with an answer.  Others in the class had learned a lesson that day too (at my expense).  I ended up getting a “C” in the class and I took four more courses from Dr. Erickson (A’s and B’s).  Poly Sci became my major and he was my faculty advisor.  No – I didn’t whine because he badgered me.  I was truly grateful for the lesson.   More kids should have such lessons (or perhaps the one I posted on November 23, 2011) . . . .   

College

On By scottpetersenIn Augustana College, College, GAB Fraternity, Gamma Alpha Beta1 Comment

When I was 16, well into my senior year of high school, I went to see my guidance counselor – Floyd Hillman.  Mr. Hillman told me (the words are etched in my brain) “I think I can get you a job as an assistant plumber.”  I sat.  And wanted to cry.  I didn’t want to be an assistant plumber.  And I left.  Sad about my impending future.  But a few of my friends were talking about “college.”  College sounded pretty good. 

My father never finished high school and my mother never went to college.  So we never talked much about college.  I would finish high school and then go to work.  Even so, I went home and mentioned “college” to my father.  “College?” he said.  “The only guy I know who went to college was Bill Swanson.”  He looked at me.  “You wanna go to college??”  I nodded — having little clue as to what that meant. . . .

We went to see Mr. Swanson.  He said “I went to Augustana College.  Maybe I could get you an interview.”  My dad said “you want that?” and I nodded. . . . not entirely sure what that meant.  My parents and I drove out to Rock Island, Illinois — home of Augustana College — and I had an interview with Mr. Hemming, the Director of Admissions.  It was April or May — around the time of high school graduation.  Mr. Hemming said that the class was full.  And my grades were not great.  But he liked that I was an Eagle Scout so he would find a spot for me.  He said I could be admitted on academic probation.  But if I didn’t have a “C” average first semester, I was out.  So I signed on.  A few months later, I was in college.  My first semester – of 6 courses, I had 5 “C’s” and one “B” (in swimming).  I was in.  The second youngest freshman in my class (I’d skipped 2d grade).

My 45th reunion was this weekend at Augustana.  I went.  First time in 35 years.  I owe Stanley Erickson for a big lesson and Dean Ribbick for things that go unsaid.  And I owe Augustana College for taking a flyer on a just turned 17 year old kid with mediocre grades.  I was given a chance.   It was great to be back.  See old friends.  My fraternity brothers.  And visit. . . my college.           

Scoring Points – Part III

On By scottpetersenIn Ghost Pines cabernet, Guacamole, Scoring pointsLeave a comment

In my posts of May 6 and May 8, 2012, I relate how my amazing cooking prowess gets me points with the ladies. Uhmmm . . . make that “Lady” – singular. Well I did it again. . . .

Saturday night, Donna and I were babysitting for Eve so I volunteered to make dinner.  I stopped at Whole Foods and patrolled the aisles — seeking inspiration.  And then KA-BOOM — it hit me.  I bought two 8 ounce (1-1/2″) prime filets, some organic white potatoes, a monstrous yellow onion, some Hass avocados, limes and cilantro.  I’ll bet you can see what’s coming. . . .

For the potatoes, I stuck to my classic hash brown/roasted potato recipe (see post of September 10, 2013).  This time I used real garlic powder (instead of garlic salt).  I then made a guacamole side dish with two mooshed avocados, finely chopped cilantro and the juice of one or two (if you like it tangy) limes.  I fired up the grill for the filet.  Seared for 2-1/2 minutes on high then flipped them and timed about 10 minutes on medium (M-M-M) heat.  The filets were perfect.  Medium,  Light pink inside.

I poured a really fine Ghost Pines 2010 cabernet sauvignon to wash it all down and concluded the meal with a Ciao Bella sorbet.   The guacamole was a perfect vegetable accompaniment to the filet.  In fact, I simply took bites of both.  It was Mardi Gras in your mouth. . . .  

What really got the pointmeter doing loops was – are you ready?  I did the dishes (cue the fist pump). 

Eagle Scout Politicians – Revisited

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I am very disappointed with those who occupy the House, the Senate and the White House.   I think most Americans like to throw all of the bums out and replace them.  I think we ought replace them with Eagle Scouts (or the Girl Scout equivalent).  On September 11, 2011, my post was on that precise topic.  It bears repeat at this time of national urgency.   

(9/11/11) – I am an Eagle Scout. I grew up with – and was inculcated with – the Scout Oath: “On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law. To help other people at all times. To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.” The Scout Law added further obligation: “A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.” All of the Eagle Scouts I know continue to try and live their lives according to these solemn oaths though Donna doesn’t always feel I’m obedient when she asks me to take the garbage out or clean the garage. I’m not real cheerful about that stuff either. . . .

When I see the gridlock in Washington, it seems too bad we don’t have more Eagle Scouts (or the Girl Scout equivalent) running the country. I would wager that Democratic and Republican Eagle Scouts would get along a far sight better and work a lot more diligently than the parade of horrors found in Washington today. They would sing campfire songs while drinking beer at the Old Ebbitt Grill.  They would hike to the office with backpacks doing good deeds along the way.  And most importantly, they would take seriously – very seriously – their duty to this great country, their obligation to be thrifty and the promise to “help other people at all times.”

Call a Toe Truck!

On By scottpetersenIn broken little toe1 Comment

You want to know what hurts like you know what? Break a toe.

A few weeks ago, I broke the little toe on my right foot. I walked into an iron stool that Donna has in our bathroom that (AHEM) had not been put back where it belonged. The pain was excruciating. And of course leave it to our schedule to be leaving for Park City, Utah, the next day. Yes – I played golf and went hiking. All with a toe – and later all of my toes – turning the color of spoiled blueberries.   I Googled “broken toe” and learned that there’s not much you can do other than keep them taped together, keep them elevated and put ice on them.  If the bone is sticking through the skin, then a visit to your doctor may be in order.  A broken big toe can be serious as it’s needed for balance.  The others are just there — keeping the others company.    

After three weeks of hobbling around, I did opt to go to the doc who said my little toe bones were smooshed.  He confirmed that there’s not much to do other than keep my toes taped together.  That’s a bit of a challenge since my little toe and the one next to it don’t get along all that well . . . . .

Generations

On By scottpetersenIn Generational designationsLeave a comment

I’m a “boomer.”  So are most of my friends.  They’re boomers too.  Boom boom.  But I have to admit to being a little dense about the other generational monikers that are assigned to different age groups. Soooooo, I figured that this would be a good opportunity to learn.   Since this is all new to me – and may be to you – here’s the scoop . . . .

Born between 1900 and 1924?  You’re in the G.I. Generation (not many of these folks left)

1925-1945 — You’re in the Silent Generation (endured Depression and war)

1946-1964 — You’re a Baby Boomer (off the charts IQ, multi-talented, handsome, suave, debonair, glib, trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent).

1965-1979 — You’re a Generation X (the “lost” generation.  First generation of latchkey kids.  Exposed to lots of daycare and divorce.  Lowest voting participation of any generation)

1980-2000 — You’re a Millennial or Generation Y (tech savvy.  Exposed to “it all.”  Very segmented, racially, ethnically diverse)

2001-Present — You’re a New Silent Generation or Generation Y (the jury is still out)

I would sure like to be a Generation Y . . . . knowing what I do today.

So this Guy. . . . .

On By scottpetersenIn Humor, So this guyLeave a comment

So on Monday morning, this guy goes to work with a nasty-looking black eye.

“What happened to you?” said his friend.

“Geeesh. . . I was in Church yestereday. When we all stood up to sing a hymm, this old woman in front of me stood up. She was wearing this huge billowy dress and the back of the dress was stuck in her belt and in her rear end. So I reached forward and pulled it out.  With that, she turned around and smacked me.”

“Gee that’s too bad,” said the friend. “You try and do a good deed and look what happens.”

The next Monday the same guy came to work – this time with the other eye all blackened.   His friend saw him and said “Wow! What happened to you?”

Guy said “So yesterday we go to Church. And we sit behind this same woman. We all stood up to sing a hymm and – just like last week – her big billowy dress was caught up in her belt and in her rear end. The guy next to me reached over and pulled it out. But I knew she didn’t like that so I just leaned forward and tucked it all back in. . . . . . “

Gambling – Part II

On By scottpetersenIn GamblingLeave a comment

I had some gentle push back on my prior post from some on the point that people should have freedom – to choose – to go to a casino or not to go to a casino.   I don’t disagree.  Offering casino opportunities is one thing.  But 24 hours a day?  7 days a week?  On Christmas day?  On the 4th of July?  Again – who spends their days and nights at casinos?   We already know – and our politicians know – the demographics.  It’s mainly lower income people.  Our race tracks have a season – and hours.  So do bars.  Restaurants.  Stores.  Why not casinos?  The quick answer is that our politicians know that they can glean revenue in big buckets from casinos.  Sooooo, leave them stay open.  24/7.  365 days a year.  Oh – and let’s build more casinos.  To twist the knife into the belly of the poor while smiling and going “shhhhhh.”        

Our politicians know full well who’s spending their hard earned bucks – and welfare checks – at the all-night casinos and truck stop betting parlors.   These boys care only about money and power. And – as I said in my earlier post – they don’t care one bit who they grind into insolvency (or divorce or addiction or the other ills that attend).  Remember that next time you go to the polls. . . . .    

Gambling

On By scottpetersenIn Gambling, U.S. National Gambling Impact Study CommissionLeave a comment

I’ve been to casinos and race tracks and placed a few bets.  It’s entertainment.  It’s fun.  But the last time was when I was on vacation a few years ago.   I’ll drop a few bucks on the Lottery.  When it’s big.   But in short, I don’t gamble.  And I don’t know anyone who does. It seems like the majority of people who regularly go to casinos or the race track are the people who work there.  And those who can least afford it.

Gambling is a cruel regressive tax which promotes social ills, bankruptcies, divorce and the blind addiction to hope.  Of winning.  And it targets the poor.  And Illinois leads America’s race to the bottom in this national disgrace.  Fleecing our own people.  Exploiting the poor.  And grubbing for money.    

I just read an article that Illinois is now considering a bill to allow the state’s ten casinos to stay open 24 hours a day.  The logic?  Recently 24 hour gambling was pushed — and passed — for truck stops.  Sooooo, we should now permit equal opportunity insolvency for all of our people.  Not just truckers.  Great.  And of course 24 hour gambling offers more distraction from “bringing home the bacon” (or even going home at all). 

In the year 2000, the bipartisan U.S. National Gambling Impact Study Commission (sponsored by IL Democratic Senator Paul Simon) found that 80% of all gambling revenue was derived from households earning less than $50,000 annually.  What’s the government’s “take”?  Low income gamblers had to lose $84 billion (that’s with a “B”) to casinos and lotteries for the governments to take in $24 billion in lucre.  And of course taxpayers often foot the bill for welfare checks to these folks.   

It’s not the doctors, lawyers, bankers, teachers or business people who are spending their days and nights gambling. Face it — it’s those who are struggling to survive financially.  And we all know how the odds are stacked.  So next time you hear a politician argue in favor of gambling initiatives, more casinos, and longer hours, know full well that he wants the poor and the destitute to get it in the neck.  And he doesn’t care one bit . . . .