Illegal Weapons

I used to have an illegal weapon. And every once in a while I used it.  Know what it was?  It was a switchblade knife.

Now mind you my switchblade knife was old and decrepit and had a blade that was maybe two inches long.  And it opened with the speed of a snoozing turtle (sh-sh-sh-sh-clunk).   And it was d-u-l-l.  I used it when I was outside in the garage cutting up boxes for recycling (“take that box!”).   I never had any nefarious designs on anyone with my switchblade. But technically it was illegal.  And if I still had it, it would still be illegal.  Even though my victims were cardboard boxes.

I have my old Boy Scout knives which are so sharp that I can shave with them.  They seem to be far more dangerous.  But a switchblade?  Outrageous.  Illinois remains one of the few states where switchblade knives are still illegal.  As I recall one North Shore community outlaws steak knives over 2-1/2 inches.  “Eeek!  A knife!”  Maybe Illinois should tax them!   Now that’s the spirit.   

 

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