So this guy goes to the doctor. He’s nervous and fidgeting. The doctor says “do you smoke?” The guy responds “yeah – four packs a day.” The doctor responds “well, if you don’t quit smoking, you’re going to be dead in five years.” The guy says “But Doc – I’m nervous. I gotta have something to keep me calm.” The doctor thought for a moment “why don’t you chew toothpicks?”
So the guy quit smoking and started chewing toothpicks. Three boxes of toothpicks a day. He died five years later. Dutch elm disease. . . .