“The New Grandfather”
A play in one act
(Scott is talking with a friend. Scott has just become a grandfather. He looks bewildered but he has a big smile on his face)
Friend: Sooooo, Scott, what do you think about being a grandfather?
Scott: Oh man. It is awesome! Lemme show you some pictures (pulls out a thick stack of pictures and begins flipping through them)
Friend: (Looking at the pictures) Very nice. She’s beautiful. . . . . What’s her name again?
Scott: (Ignores the question and continues thumbing through pictures) Here’s her face. Here she’s looking up. Here, she’s looking down. And here’s one of her right foot. No wait. That’s her left foot. (Mumbles) Big toe right, left foot. Big toe left, right foot. Yeah, left foot. . . . .
Friend: (Laughing) That’s a good-looking foot.
Scott: (Eyes are glazed. He continues thumbing through pictures) Oooh! Lookit this one! What a cutie pie. . . .
Friend: (Rolls his eyes) Hooookayyyy . . . . Scott, I have got to be on my way. I am very happy for you (starts to walk away).
Scott: (Grabs the friend’s arm) No wait! Lemme show you this. Sweet . . . this is her pinky toe on her left foot. . . .or (looking with brow furrowed) that’s her (brightly) right foot!
Friend: Yeah Scott. . . .you’ll do just fine as a grandfather. . . . . (walks away)
Scott: Come back! (Waving pictures) I want to show you her left ear!!