The 1000 Pound Man

(A repeat from October 20, 2013)

The heaviest person in the world weighs 1,076 pounds. He is about 5 feet 8 inches “tall.” The regulation National Hockey League goal is 6 feet by 4 feet.   You see where I’m going?? 

I have long felt that the Chicago Blackhawks could win the Stanley Cup every year by simply recruiting the largest people in the world to be the goalies.  You upholster them in padding, mask and protective gear, give them a stick and stuff them into the goal and let them take a nap. Every shot on goal would simply bounce off the goalie. Defense would become a thing of the past. The goalie would go into the history books and the Blackhawks would win the Stanley Cup every year.

The only “hitch” would be that other teams might start recruiting similarly-endowed goalies.  Games would typically end 0 to 0.  Shootouts in overtime could go on for years . . . .

One thought on “The 1000 Pound Man

  1. Stones

    Your idea reminds me of Bill Veeck’s caper when he owned the White Sox. He put a new guy on the roster…a midget. When the team needed a walk, he put the midget in as a pinch hitter. He promptly scampered to first on four balls.
    Bill wrote a book: “Veeck, as in Wreck” it might be a bit dated now, but I enjoyed the read a bunch of years ago.
    PS you might remember that Veeck had lost a leg somehow.

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