My wife made me join a bridge club. I have to jump off next Tuesday.
When I was in high school, a girl called and said “come on over. Nobody’s home.” I went over to her house. Nobody was home.
My wife is such a bad cook, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door. The roaches hang themselves in the pantry. Most guys go home and get pot roast. I go home and get roast pot. Did you ever see meat loaf that glows in the dark? In my house, we pray after the meal. . . .
Oh I miss Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004). He was a classic (which may share a whisper about my sense of humor). Born Jacob Rodney Cohen in New York, he started writing for standup comedians at the age of 15 and began performing (as “Jack Roy“) when he was 20. In the 1960’s he was performing stand up comedy at night and working as a salesman or singing waiter by day. Nothing seemed to go right for him and he went deep into debt. He came to realize that he needed a stage “image.” Since nothing went right for him, the light went on over his head. On March 5, 1967, The Ed Sullivan Show needed a last minute replacement and “Rodney Dangerfield” made his big debut. And he was the hit of the show. He was invited as a guest on The Dean Martin Show and then The Tonight Show – where he appeared on 35 occasions. Rodney’s career peaked in the 1980’s when he appeared in the iconic movie “Caddyshack” and several other films (including “Easy Money” and “Back to School“).
In 2001, he suffered a minor heart attack backstage at The Tonight Show. And his health began to slide. In August 2004, he entered the hospital for a heart-valve replacement. When someone asked how long he’d be in the hospital, he responded “if all goes well, a week or 10 days. If not, then maybe an hour and a half.” He died a short time later – at 83 – and was buried in Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery. His headstone reads “There goes the neighborhood.”
Check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FPv2toi5og for a laugh (and the many others alongside) 🙂