I Get No Respect. . . . .

On By scottpetersenIn I Get No RespectLeave a comment

[A summer repeat from March 30, 2014]   My wife made me join a bridge club. I have to jump off next Tuesday.

When I was in high school, a girl called and said “come on over. Nobody’s home.” I went over to her house. Nobody was home.

My wife is such a bad cook, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door. The roaches hang themselves in the pantry. Most guys go home and get pot roast. I go home and get roast pot. Did you ever see meat loaf that glows in the dark?  In my house, we pray after the meal. . . .

I miss Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004). He was a classic (which may share a whisper about my sense of humor). Born Jacob Rodney Cohen in New York, he started writing for stand up comedians at the age of 15 and began performing (as “Jack Roy”) when he was 20.  In the 1960’s he was performing stand up comedy at night and working as a salesman or singing waiter by day.  Nothing seemed to go right for him and he went deep into debt.  He came to realize that he needed a stage “image.”  Since nothing went right for him, the light went on over his head.   On March 5, 1967, The Ed Sullivan Show needed a last minute replacement and “Rodney Dangerfield” made his big debut.   And he was the hit of the show.  He was invited as a guest on The Dean Martin Show and then The Tonight Show – where he appeared on 35 occasions.  Rodney’s career peaked in the 1980’s when he appeared in the iconic movie “Caddyshack” and several other films (including “Easy Money” and “Back to School“). 

In 2001, he suffered a minor heart attack backstage at The Tonight Show.  And his health began to slide.  In August 2004, he entered the hospital for a heart-valve replacement.  When someone asked how long he’d be in the hospital, he responded “if all goes well, a week or 10 days.  If not, then maybe an hour and a half.”  He died a short time later – at 83 – and was buried in Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery.  His headstone reads “There goes the neighborhood.” 

Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MecU2keW54I  for a laugh (and the many others alongside) 🙂

Assumption of Risk

On By scottpetersenIn Assumption of riskLeave a comment

I’m a lawyer.  My trusty Black’s Law Dictionary defines “Assumption of Risk” as follows:  “Exists where none of fault for injury rests with plaintiff, but where plaintiff assumes consequences of injury occurring through fault of defendant, third person or fault of no one . . . It is based upon the maxim ‘volenti non fit injuria,’ which means that to which a person assents is not regarded in law as an injury.”  Assumption of risk is a defense to lawsuits for injury or loss where the plaintiff has either actual or constructive understanding as to the hazards to be encountered and he consents to taking a chance on possible danger.  And injury. . . .

So often today, we see blame being cast against innocent parties by a sea of alleged victims (and prospective plaintiffs) whose own actions have put them in harm’s way.  Blame is always cast upon others.   Everyone is a victim.  No one wants to take responsibility for injury which they invite.  It’s always someone else’s fault.  Whether you’re at the ball park and get whacked by a foul ball, the fitness center and overdo it, the pool, you try to kill a police officer with a baseball bat, spill hot coffee in your lap, you drive your car over the speed limit or you smoke or abuse drugs.  There comes a time when those who voluntarily put themselves into harm’s way need to accept the consequences of their actions.  Instead of blaming everyone else for injury or loss, know that you may assume risk – and fault – by your own actions.  Assumption of risk.     

Little Feet

On By scottpetersenIn Little FeetLeave a comment

[A valuable summer repeat from November 26, 2017]  When I was about 10 years old, I pestered my father to let me drive the family car.  Sooooo. . . . one Sunday, my dad let me drive home from Church.  Not all the way – but the last mile or so — on a road that was pretty vacant and ran in part along a corn field. I’d sit there peering over the steering wheel – my father with one hand on the wheel, one hand on the ignition and one hand on the gear shift.  From then on, I was the “Chuber” driver (“CHurch UBER“) on Sundays.  

Sometimes, my dad would take me to an empty parking lot and let me drive.  Round and round.  So I “learned” to drive at a pretty early age. When Lauren was about 12, I let her “drive” on occasional Saturday afternoons in our Church parking lot.  

My father had a lot of wisdom to impart to me in my formative years (which – Donna comments – are still in progress).  My dad always told me when driving to keep my “eyes moving.”  Watching.  Left.  Right.  Check the mirrors.  And he always told me to watch for “little feet.”  As I drive along a street, I was told to glance forward — under the cars parked along the street.  Why?  Because you can see if there are little feet — on the other side — below the car.  And you can slow down.  It’s easy to see an adult standing by a car.  But there’s no way to see a child unless you see the “little feet” under the car you are approaching.  I’m always watching for “little feet.”  Try it next time you’re driving.  Keep an eye out for little feet. . . . .

Collecting Meteorites

On By scottpetersenIn Boy Scouts of America, Boy's Life Magazine, Collecting meteoritesLeave a comment

When I was a Boy Scout, I subscribed to Boy’s Life magazine. I read it cover to cover.  Sometimes twice.   Great tips on everything.  If a dog attacks someone, pick up the dog’s hind legs (they stop) or wrap your belt around him.  Drowning people rarely splash – watch their head.  Polaris – the North star – never moves in the sky.  It is true North and determines your precise North latitude.    Great articles.   Good stuff.   Even a page of humor. 

One article that I remember to this day is how to collect meteorites.  Yes, meteorites.  Every day, the earth is bombarded with cosmic debris — including an avalanche of tiny meteorites.  Not the big splashy ones that whoooosh through the air leaving trails of brilliant light and make the news when they smack into a house.  I’m talking about dust.  Meteorite dust — and particles.  So how do you collect this cosmic detritus?  Boy’s Life spoke of getting a large tin pan, a piece of cloth in the bottom and setting it outside – perhaps in the garden.  And leave it there for a week.  Then go out with a magnet and run it through the particles that have collected.  Those that stick — especially the pencil-dot sized nuggets — are likely small meteorites.  There may also be remnants of “fly ash” (from coal-burning stoves or fireplaces). 

Good articles and videos about this subject are available today on line.  The best (probably quicker) way suggested to collect meteorites is to put a bucket under a gutter downspout — and then hose down the roof.  The roof is a good collector of such material.  The water from the downspout pours into the bucket.  The heavy stuff (like when you pan for gold) settles to the bottom.  Pour out the water and (unless your roof is metallic) use your magnet to pick up these visitors from outer space.

Scandinavians. . . .

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My mother’s heritage is Swedish. My father’s Danish. When my parents announced their engagement in 1942, their respective families said “you are marrying a Swede?” “A Dane?” “You are no longer my son.” “My daughter.” It was bad.  My father was also nearly 10 years older than my mother.  That was an issue too.  When I was born, my mother’s mother refused to see me for several weeks (“that little Dane“). Can you imagine??  Her father did, however, come to check me out after a week.  I guess I put on a show because things started to get a little better.     

Swedes and Danes have different spellings for last names.  “PetersOn” is a Swedish spelling. “PetersEn” is the Danish spelling.  Occasionally, I see notes from people we know well – “PetersOn.”  Harrumphh.   Especially since “Scott PetersOn” is on death row in California.  “Scot PetersOn” was indicted for his failure to act at the Stoneman Douglas school shooting.  Then there’s Drew Peterson and Michael Peterson who killed their wives.  They are Swedes.

Today, most people look upon Scandinavians — Swedes, Danes, Norwegians and Finns — as pretty much the same. But they are quite different culturally.  There is an old story about a dozen Danes, a dozen Finns, a dozen Norwegians and a dozen Swedes — all strangers –who all suddenly find themselves grouped together in a room. In a half hour, the Danes are off having a party. The Finns are all in a sauna.  The Norwegians are off skiing.  And the Swedes are still standing around waiting to be introduced.  That’s probably not a bad characterization.  Me?  I’m probably the quintessential half and half.  Let’s have a party. . . . after we’re introduced. . . . .  

Income Inequality

On By scottpetersenIn Arthur C. Brooks, Income inequality1 Comment

Arthur C. Brooks (past President of the American Enterprise Institute) has frequently spoken on topics relating to America’s economy.  He feels that the issue of income inequality is often used as a political distraction.  The real problem he said is the increasingly diminished opportunity for upward mobility for those in the lower 20% of the economic strata.   Without opportunity, comes income stagnation.

Social programs have gradually replaced upward mobility opportunities.  This creates a culture of dependence on social programs rather than incentive for individual initiative.  And effort.  The culture of dependency seems to encompass more and more people.    

When Bill Gates first came on the scene as one of the world’s most successful and richest men, a survey was conducted about how people felt about him.   Americans typically thought “my son or daughter can be the next Bill Gates.”  The French, however, incline toward burning his house down and taking his stuff.  The subtle shift in American attitudes in the direction of this European ethos has spawned a political environment of class warfare — the heroic and virtuous 99% versus the evil 1% (which is evolving into the heroic and virtuous 44% of Americans who pay no income taxes against those who do). 

The United States is already heavily-taxed and heavily-regulated.  To hear the recent debates – it may become more so.   But the proposed policies on dealing with income inequality (“free everything“) do not address the underlying problem.   We should want people to succeed.  Want people to learn.  Want people to achieve.  Want people to become entrepreneurs.  Want people to take initiative.  Want people to try.  Incentive and opportunity are liberating concepts.  These precepts can’t be replaced by stifling regulation, suffocating taxes and unrestrained governmental handouts with no expectation of responsibility . . . .     

 

Hank

On By scottpetersenIn Hank Sauer1 Comment

My favorite baseball player as a kid was Hank Sauer – left fielder for the (then) hapless Chicago Cubs.  I tried – desperately – to get his autograph.   My dad would take me to Wrigley Field and I’d gallop down the steps to troll for autographs.  I remember one day Hank was walking a few feet away.  I screamed at him “Hank!  Hank!  Mister Sauer!”  He looked at me like I was a 9 year old lunatic.  And walked on. . . . . 

Some years ago, I had an article published which talked about Hank and how I was never able to get his autograph.  Someone read the article and sent me a note that Hank was living in Milbrea, California.   The address was included.  Sooooo, I sent him a letter – including a copy of the article. And I mentioned that I was his biggest fan in the world.  A few weeks later, I arrived at my office one morning and there was a package on my desk.  In the corner was a return address sticker shaped like a baseball.   Between the stitching, it said “Hank Sauer.”  My eyes filled with tears and I opened the package.  Inside was a large album full of original pictures of Hank (a few signed), original baseball cards and. . . .  a priceless handwritten sentiment – “To Scott – my best Chicago fan.”   

Hank passed away in August 2001.  But I will always relish the fact that I “hit the high note” in my autograph collecting career.  It wasn’t a George Washington letter.  Or Henry VIII.  I got Hank Sauer. . . . 

Fireworks – Follow Up

On By scottpetersenIn Deaths caused by smoking, Fireworks, Gun control1 Comment

I had some gentle push back on my previous post about fireworks.  There was feeling that fireworks are dangerous – and thus in need of regulation.  Okay. Here’s my response. . . . . .
In 2017, there were 8 deaths from fireworks (primarily accidents at the big, massive shows).

In 2017, there were 15,549 homicides relating to firearms.

In 2017, 480,000 people died from smoking-related causes — including 41,000 innocents who died thanks to second-hand smoke.

You tell me — which one of these is heavily-regulated; which is heavily-politicized; and which is heavily-taxed.

Ahhhhh. . . . Now I get it. . . .

“F” is for Fireworks

On By scottpetersenIn Fireworks, Illinois gets an F2 Comments

[A timely repeat from August 17, 2014]  Every Independence Day, I am embarrassed that Illinois is one of the few states in the Union that disallows any and all kinds of fireworks for private use. This Fourth of July I heard a few neighborhood “pops.”  And saw a few puffs of light.   And I can just imagine police SWAT teams barreling down on the offenders.

I continue to believe that people of Illinois should descend on Springfield and demand equality for buying and using fireworks. As I reported earlier (10/10/12; 10/15/12; and 10/30/13), many kids – like me – grew up with fireworks.  And it was a hoot.  Don’t give me the “oooh oooh – you can get hurt” business.  It does not happen.  And you know it.  Your child has a greater chance of being seriously injured playing soccer than by a firework. 

And while we’re in Springfield asking those who run this state for equality for buying, selling and using fireworks – we might create some fireworks of our own demanding honest government and fiscal responsibility.  Illinois has the worst credit rating in the nation.  And according to a new Thumbtack.com and Kaufmann Foundation survey, Illinois is the worst for business (okay, California tied us).  Illinois got an “F.”  Companies are leaving in droves to the tune of 1,000+ jobs a day.  Illinois is one of the most heavily-taxed states.   Yet new taxes, fines, regulations and penalties appear daily.  Did you know Chicago’s population today is less than it was in 1920?  Illinois leadership has ruined our State.   Yet they keep getting voted in.  Who votes for these people?  How’s that for a segue?     

Gabriel

On By scottpetersenIn GabrielLeave a comment

(An ecumenical follow up to the prior post – here’s an update from January 30, 2012)

There are three archangels in religious tradition: Michael, Raphael and Gabriel. Of the three, Gabriel is the one who curiously keeps popping up — not just in Christianity but in other faiths as well.  Gabriel is not just a divine messenger from God, he is an uber messenger. . . . .

In the Jewish tradition, Gabriel is the holy messenger who in the Old Testament book of Daniel offers an explanation of Daniel’s visions. In Christianity, it is Gabriel who foretells the birth of John the Baptist and Jesus. It was Gabriel who visits Mary to deliver the good news of her new role.

In the Mormon faith, Gabriel ministered to Joseph Smith.  In his earthly life, Gabriel was believed to be Noah. Some say, Gabriel continues to serve as a divine messenger having visited earth as recently as 1954.

In Islam, it was Gabriel (Jibril) who revealed the Qur’an to Muhammed.  In the Bahai faith, Gabriel is referenced in their holy texts (Baha’u’llah‘s mystical work Seven Valleys).  Among Yazidis, Gabriel is one of the “Seven Mysteries.”  In the Gnostic manuscripts, Gabriel is a divine spirit who inhabits Pleroma and who existed prior to the Demiurge.  

With Gabriel’s influential involvement in so many religious traditions, one has to wonder why religious strife focuses as it does on differences. Perhaps Gabriel, the Messenger, is trying to tell us something.  Perhaps He who sent him is too. . . .