They Dwell Among Us

[A “Ripley’s Believe it or Not” repeat – minor edits – from August 16, 2013]

I’ve seen silly emails circulated with this title.  I always delete them as I’ve felt the stories are so far fetched as to be unbelievable.   Until Monday. 

Scout’s Honor.  I was on the train on Monday.  Heading home after a long day.  The train was crowded with a few folks standing in the aisles.  This 30’ish woman sits down next to me. She takes an orange VISA credit card from her purse and – holding it in her hand – pulls out her cell phone and dials a number. And then in a voice loud enough to be heard 3 or 4 rows away, she says she has a question on her credit card.   She needs detail on the last dozen or so transactions.  And she repeats the card number into the receiver. THEN (as if that’s not enough) after a pause, she repeats a family name and a calendar date (presumably security codes). THEN (of course) she read off the three digit security code on the back of the card (“uhmm lemme see. . . two three eight . . . yes – THREE eight“). For the next 15 minutes, with phone shouldered to her ear, she proceeded to dialogue on the telephone in this highly public place about questioned purchases (one charge was – I kid you not – 9 cents).  She’s writing them down.

We do not need – or want – educational tests or intelligence tests (other than citizenship) for a person to vote.  But maybe there is something to having a “Stupid” test.  This woman would be the poster girl.  Then again, we have no Stupid Test to be a Democrat (or Republican) in Congress.  Or to serve in the White House. . . . .  

By the way, I just bought a great bunch of new books on line, some shoes for Donna, a new Martin guitar, I booked us a trip to Europe and I . . . . . OOOOPS  . . . never mind. . . .    

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I Need to Invent Something

In my post of August 16, 2013, I spoke of sitting on a crowded train while a woman sitting next to me called her credit card company, loudly repeated her card number, security code (“noooo, two THREE eight“) and expiration date – and then proceeded to discuss several contested charges (“They Dwell Among Us“).

I also sit on the train while some people blabber so loud on their cell phones that people in the next car can hear them (“Hi Sweetie Pumpkins Dooty Dooty, I love you sooooo much. What’s for din din Sweetums?”  “Hey Frank.  I got a big deal cookin’ with the Smorgasbord Company.  Nobody knows about this.  Relates to that property on Western Avenue. . . . “).   Let me say this — it’s one thing to talk with your hand over your mouth – and receiver.  And speak quietly.  And quickly.  I’ve done it (“Donna, I’m on the six o’clock.  I get in at six thirty” CLICK).   But there are people who believe it is their public obligation to let everyone on the train know their personal and private business (“Man – I really got wasted last night. . . . “).   YOU HEAR THIS STUFF! 

So I have an idea.  Or I’m looking for an inventor for an idea.  I want to develop an electronic device that I can aim at some loud-mouth yabberer and ZAPPP!  Their telephone will emit a 400 decibel screech that will have their ears ringing for days.  OR – I want an invention that will remotely hang up a call (“Oh Bambi – I can’t wait to see you . . . . Bambi?  Bambi?).  Ninety-five percent of the people on the train will cheer.  ZAPPP!!  

They Dwell Among Us . . . .

I’ve seen silly emails circulated with this title.  I always delete them as I’ve felt the stories are so farfetched as to be unbelievable.   Until Monday. 

Scout’s Honor. I was on the train on Monday. Heading home after a long day.  The train was crowded with a few folks standing in the aisles.  This 30’ish woman sits down next to me. She takes an orange VISA credit card from her purse and – holding it in her hand – pulls out her cell phone and dials a number. And then in a voice loud enough to be heard 3 or 4 rows away, she says she has a question on her credit card.   She needs detail on the last dozen or so transactions.  And she repeats the card number into the receiver. THEN (as if that’s not enough) after a pause, she repeats a family name and a calendar date (presumably security codes). Then (of course) she read off the three digit security code on the back of the card (“uhmm lemme see. . . two three eight . . . no THREE eight“). For the next 15 minutes, with phone shouldered to her ear, she proceeded to dialogue on the telephone in this highly public place about questioned purchases (one charge was – I kid you not – 9 cents).  She’s writing them down.

I do not believe we should have educational tests or intelligence tests or any other criteria (than citizenship) for a person to vote.  But maybe there is something to having a “Stupid” test.  This woman would be the poster girl.  Not that it would matter with the characters we have in our government. 

By the way, I bought a great bunch of new books on line, some shoes for Donna, a new Martin guitar, I booked us a trip to Europe and I . . . . . OOOOPS  . . . never mind. . . .