Category: Mulligans

A Lifebuoy Lesson

On By scottpetersenIn A Lifebuoy Lesson, MulligansLeave a comment

(A spring repeat from February 2, 2012)

When I was 12 years old (1959), I spent part of the summer at Camp Napowan — a great Boy Scout camp in Wild Rose, Wisconsin.  One hot sunny afternoon, I was loping back to my campsite when I saw a fellow camper named “Wiley.”  I looked at him and called him a “______.”   It was a highly offensive and nasty slur.  What prompted my outburst, I don’t recall but from the moment the words left my lips, things began moving verrrry quickly.  And with great and lasting impression. 

The Senior Patrol Leader, Bill B. – age 14, heard my comment and yelled an order to other Scouts.  They grabbed me and dragged me shouting and struggling to the outdoor wash stand.  Bill took a well-used cake of Lifebuoy’s finest and pushed it into my mouth.   Then – with a word from Bill – I was released.  I ran back to my tent on the verge of tears – spitting soap shards.   When I emerged, the matter was forgotten.

But you know what?  From that time on, I never used an epithet like that.   I learned.  Some might say “the hard way.”   But I disagree.    I wish other young people could learn like this — from their peers.  I look at this lesson (and others I’ve had) as being key to my development (see posts of 8/16/11 and 11/23/11).  I’m glad I learned.         

Oh and Bill B.?  He and I went on to become Eagle Scouts.  We worked together on staff at Camp Napowan for the next 3 years.   He became one of my two closest friends (along with my great pal Col. “Ox” – another Eagle Scout).   Bill was best man at my wedding.  And we talk frequently.  Today, he’s the finest veterinarian in the State of Kentucky.   And to this day, I’ve rarely heard Bill utter anything stronger than a (usually appropriate) “doggonit.”  

[This is an example of why we should be generous – in granting “Mulligans” as mentioned on May 11, 2022]

Cancelled

On By scottpetersenIn Forgiveness, MulligansLeave a comment

In my prior post, I poked fun at Swedes. I thought that there would be a newspaper article (“Blogger rants against Swedish people!”). I thought a saintly contingent of woke snowflakes would demonstrate (“Outrage!”). Maybe the ASPCA would give backlash because I made fun of skunks. But not a whisper. Not a word. Silence. What’s wrong with those doing the cancelling? Do they give a wink to some speech and not others?     

Confession: I have said and done some dumb things that I’d like to call back. I would wager you have too.  But in the words of the poet Omar Khayyam:

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

Our futures lie to a great extent within our own hands.  The “moving finger” business is probably a good reason to think twice before we act — or speak.  We forgive those leaving prison and help to get them a new start. We forgive family members. But for some stranger’s ill-chosen words? Comments? In the words of Donnie Brasco – “fuhgeddaboutit.” I continue to scratch my head as to why.

Knowing of our own fallibility – and frailty – it may be a good reason to consider granting forgiveness to others when there is contrition and apology.  How would you like to be treated? Would you want your child cancelled and fired from her job for saying something stupid?

What’s wrong with – I forgive you.  Please don’t do it again. Let’s move on. . . . .  

Roseanne

On By scottpetersenIn Mulligans, RoesanneLeave a comment

Should a young black man who is sentenced to a year in prison for stealing a car be allowed to return to society? To have a job?  Go to school?  To be forgiven? What about the serial thief who shoplifts food to feed her family? And after serving her fourth sentence for theft – she is released.  How about the 58 year old man who served 35 years in prison for killing a man in a bar fight? Forgiveness? Allowed to get a job? What if the 58 year old became a deacon of the church while in prison? And schools young men on how not to behave? Can we forgive any of those accused by the MeToo movement but not charged with crimes?  I’m just askin’ . . . . .

And then there’s Roseanne. The weirdo comedienne whose big mouth got her in trouble.  And she was fired. And now is despised. Should we forgive her?  Give her redemption?  A second chance?  Jerry Seinfeld thinks so.  So do I.       

Many on the left will spring to forgive those in prison.  Those committing violent crimes.  Those who violate the law.   But those who use a bad word?   Like Roseanne?  Never.  She has apologized.  Tearfully.  Asked forgiveness.  Yet the world seems to have turned its collective back on her.  Not because of criminal activity.  Her crime was – stupid and vile comment.  And freedom of speech is no longer a right according to some.  

I tend to believe that each one of us is more than the worst thing we ever did.  Or said.  And that forgiveness — “Mulligans” if you will (see May 7, 2018) — can be justified.  Mercy – is one of the highest attributes of mankind.  So why not be judicious in its dispensing?  Do you ever forgive a family member or friend for hurtful things said or done?  Then why not strangers when there is genuine contrition.  Sincere apology.  And a sentence has been served.   If you don’t believe that each one of us is more than the worst thing we ever did, then — may you be judged accordingly.    

Mulligans

On By scottpetersenIn Freedom of Speech, MulligansLeave a comment

Speaking of golf, when I’m with my buds on the golf course and we tee off on the first hole, a “Mulligan” is frequently offered for an errant tee shot.  We call it a “breakfast ball.” It’s a do-over.  Even if we’re playing for a few coins, it’s “hit another – nobody saw that first one.” 

Wouldn’t it be nice if in life we had do-overs? Mulligans? For errant words or deeds?   We do in a way though the granting of a do-over often lies in the province of the recipient of the errant words or deeds.  It’s called “forgiveness.”  I’m sure we all have things we’d like to do over.  Words.  Deeds.  And we’re all grateful for the granting of forgiveness (or lack of ill consequence).  I’m sorry . . . . It’s okay.  No worries. 

But today, the poison of political correctness can sink careers.  Free speech is being crushed.  Do overs?  For the wrong word?  Forget it.   Accusations are often enough to destroy a life.  

I’ve said some dumb things and done some even dumber ones that I’d like to call back.  But in the words of the great poet Omar Khayyam:

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

Our futures lie within our own hands.  The “moving finger” business is probably a good reason to think twice before we act — or speak.  And knowing of our own fallibility – and frailty – a reason to consider the granting of Mulligans to others.   

Divots

On By scottpetersenIn Divots, Locard's Exchange Principle, MulligansLeave a comment

One of my golfing pals responded to my commentary on Locard’s Exchange Principle with one word. “Divots.” Meaning – divots on the golf course bear silent witness to the golf shots of times past. Every fairway and green is littered with “traces” of those that pass.  Divots.  Impact marks.  Broken tees.  Balls in the water.  Beer bottles.  Snickers wrappers.  My 5 iron wrapped around a tree. . . . . Which reminds me of my post of November 9, 2014, titled “Mulligans.”      

When I’m with my buds on the golf course and we tee off on the first hole, a “Mulligan” is frequently offered for an errant tee shot. It often happens on the first tee. On the drive. We call it a “breakfast ball.” It’s a do-over.  Even if we’re playing for a few coins it’s “hit another – nobody saw that first one.”  During the round – a Mulligan may also be given (except on the green). A do-over. . . . .

Wouldn’t it be nice if in life we had do-overs? Mulligans? For errant words or deeds.  Or behavior.  We do in a way though the granting of a do-over lies in the province of the recipient – or arbiter – of the errant words or deeds. In a way, it might be called “forgiveness.”  I am confident that we all have things we’d like to do over.  And we’re all grateful for the granting of forgiveness (or lack of ill consequence).  I’m sorry . . . . It’s okay.  No worries.  I know I’ve said some hurtful (and dumb) things and done some even dumber ones that I’d like to call back.  But in the words of the great poet Omar Khayyam:

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

Our futures are for the most part in our own hands.  The “moving finger” business is probably a good reason to think before we act — or speak.  And knowing of our own fallibility – and frailty – better reason to be generous with the granting of Mulligans to others.  It’s okay.  No worries.   

Mulligans

On By scottpetersenIn Do-overs, Mulligans, Omar KhayyamLeave a comment

When I’m with my buds on the golf course and we tee off on the first hole, a “Mulligan” is frequently offered for an errant tee shot. It happens only on the first tee. On the drive. We call it a “breakfast ball.” It’s a do-over.  Even if we’re playing for a few coins it’s “hit another – nobody saw that first one.”  During the round – a single Mulligan may also be given. Wherever you want to take it (except on the green). A do-over. . . . .

Wouldn’t it be nice if in life we had do-overs? Mulligans? For errant words or deeds.  Or behavior.  We do in a way though the granting of a do-over lies in the province of the recipient – or arbiter – of the errant words or deeds. It’s called “forgiveness.”  I am confident that we all have things we’d like to do over.  And we’re all grateful for the granting of forgiveness (or lack of ill consequence).  I’m sorry . . . . It’s okay.  No worries.  I know I’ve said some hurtful (or dumb) things and done some even dumber ones that I’d like to call back.  But in the words of the great poet Omar Khayyam:

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

Our futures are for the most part in our own hands.  The “moving finger” business is probably a good reason to think before we act — or speak.  And knowing of our own fallibility – and frailty – better reason to be generous with the granting of Mulligans to others.  It’s okay.  No worries.