[A repeat from March 23, 2016] It was a hot, dry, sun-drenched afternoon in Coleman, Texas. A family played dominoes on a steamy porch. The father-in-law looked up and asked if anyone wants to get in the car and take a drive to Abilene which is 53 miles away. One by one, the family members nod acquiescence. They pile into the car. The drive is hot. Dusty. And long. The family arrives in Abilene. They go to a diner where the food is as bad as the drive. They get back in the car and take the same hot, dusty, long drive back to Coleman. They arrive home exhausted.
One by one, the family members admit that they never really wanted to go to Abilene. They agreed to go because they thought the others wanted to go. Thus – everyone decided to do something — that no one wanted to do . . . . .
The “Abilene Paradox” was first introduced by Jerry B. Harvey in a 1974 article “The Abilene Paradox: The Management of Agreement.” The article suggests that individuals are normally averse to acting contrary to the inclinations of a group. Social conformity and social influence — “peer pressure” — drive agreement. The reservations one might have – with a decision or direction – is subsumed by the feeling that their concerns must be “out of step” with that of the group. This leads to reluctant silence. Grudging acquiescence. And frequently poor decisions. We see this in families. Businesses. Organizations. And politics.
Month: July 2025
All Saints Day
[A repeat from November 9, 2017] Sunday, November 5th was All Saints Day. A celebration of all those men and women who have been canonized by the Church. Do you have a headache? Then pray to St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582). She is the patron saint of those who suffer from headaches. Are you a lawyer? Then St. Genesius of Rome (circa 300 A.D.) is your patron saint. Though perhaps it’s no surprise that St. Genesius is also the patron saint of comedians, actors and clowns. . . . .
Where do we find the saints of today? Do we need a window? Or can we use a mirror? As I have gone through life, there have been plenty of people who have been “saints” for me. Teachers, a judge, a college dean, friends, strangers. And then there are those who have been saints to all of us. Parents. Relatives. Founding Fathers. Men and women of the armed services. Clergy and laity. Charitable organizations. Volunteers. Teachers and tutors. None have been canonized but many deserve the title “saint.” Who are the saints in your life?
We all are equipped with the same tools as saints. Are you using yours?
Saving the Planet?
I listened to some journalists talk about how we need to do “more” to save the planet. I agree but I think back to the time when I was growing up in the 1950’s.
Bottles were returned for a deposit – then reused. There were no plastic water bottles (which today are used in a minute and tossed out by the billions). Clothes were dried on a line – by solar and wind power. No 220 volt dryers chugging for an hour and a half. Diapers were washed and reused. We had one television in the house with a screen the size of a placemat. There were no “stadium sized” televisions sucking electricity. Our moms used an egg beater to whisk everything (there was no electric blender). And when we shipped Christmas presents, our parents crumpled newspapers for packing. There were no plastic “peanuts” or bubble wrap. We cut the grass with a hand mower. And raked leaves. No blowers. Wardrobes were pretty modest. Not many “new models” except hand-me-downs. In my house, we had one water glass by the kitchen and bathroom sinks — that everyone used. Rinse to clean – drink. Stores and businesses had water fountains. Thirsty? Use the water fountain. My father changed razor blades in his Schick razor. No disposable razors. Empty jelly jars were repurposed to be our daily dining table “crystal.” Very little was “disposable.” We had no air conditioning. We opened the windows and slept on a towel in super hot weather . . . .
Have we become lazy or complacent? You tell me. We hear political trumpets sounding about saving the environment and how we must look forward and not back. But I do think that looking backward – at least in some areas – could sure provide a lesson for how we might best look ahead.
Clean Your Plate Club
As a kid, my father urged me to join the “Clean Your Plate” Club. That is – I was required to eat every last grain, crumb and dollop that I’d been served for dinner. Membership was mandatory and it related to everyone in my house who had a meal. Given that I was an only child – that pretty much meant me. I recall being pressed to clean my plate on a regular basis. That inspired me – when helping myself to the usual dinner fare – to take smaller portions. So I could successfully “clean my plate.”
Today, I’m not sure if many families have a “Clean Your Plate” Club. From what I’ve read, such a protocol might actually lead to eating disorders and obesity in children. While there may have been some level of merit back in the day in insisting a child “clean their plate,” for me – what is more meritorious – is to encourage children (and adults) to “take” only what they can eat. Better to go light on the helpings – and opt for seconds – than to fill a plate and leave half of it for the garbage.
Today – we read that 25,000 people in the world die each day of starvation or related causes. And two billion individuals suffer from food insecurity at any given time (Source: United Nations Chronicle). For me, this is all the more reason to buy food that we need, use food that we buy and eat the food on our plates. Donna and I now support local and national food depositories. We are at the point that when we go out for dinner, we share a salad and often share a main course. And take home what we don’t eat. Oh and dessert? That’s another matter entirely . . . . .
Lawrence of Arabia
[A hot weather repeat – from July 2, 2015] Having visited Wadi Rum in Jordan (enduring a sandstorm), Donna and I put Lawrence of Arabia at the top of our Netflix list. And we watched. All 3 hours and 36 minutes. Wow! Hard to believe the movie was filmed in 1962. The cast was a “who’s who” of Hollywood: Anthony Quayle, Alec Guinness, Claude Rains, Jose Ferrer, Jack Hawkins — and introducing Omar Sharif and Peter O’Toole. The movie is historically accurate though it doesn’t tell the whole story.
Thomas Edward Lawrence (1888-1935) was a British archeologist, army officer and diplomat. He is best known for his liaison role during the Sinai and Palestine Campaign in World War I and the Arab Revolt against the Ottoman Turks (1916-18). He was born out of wedlock to Sir Thomas Chapman and Sarah Junner – a governess. Chapman left his first wife and family to live with Sarah under the name “Mr. & Mrs. Lawrence.” And had 5 sons.
The movie begins with Lawrence’s motorcycle accident – trying to avoid two bicyclists (which is what happened). And then forwards to Lawrence as a soldier working in the Army’s Cairo office during the First World War. What you don’t learn is that Lawrence was an archeologist who in 1909 spent 3 months in Syria mapping Crusader castles. From 1910 to 1914, he spent a great deal of time in the Middle East — on digs and learning Arabic. His language skills made him a natural to send to Cairo (in the Intelligence Unit) when the War began. Because of his fluency and keen knowledge of the area, he was tasked to liase with the Arabs. And he did — in the manner that legends – and movies – are made.
After the War, he returned to London. He basked in but then shunned the publicity. In 1922, he tried to enlist in the Royal Air Force under the name John Hume Ross. But his true identity was discovered. He then changed his name to T.E. Shaw. He ended his formal military career in 1928 after a 3 year posting at a remote base in India. He did, however, continue an enlistment with the RAF until 1935.
Lawrence authored two books on his experiences: Seven Pillars of Wisdom (1926) and Revolt in the Desert (1927). Both are on my “to read” list. If you want some armchair adventure, get the movie. It’s fascinating. And the music is stirring. Director David Lean blacks out the screen for the beginning, middle and end while the music plays. There’s nothing wrong with your television. . . .
Ghoti
[An oldie from October 10, 2011] How are you at pronouncing words in the English language? Okay. Pronounce this — Ghoti.
No, it’s not “Goh-tee.” Nor is it “Gah-tee.” Or even “Gah-hoe-tee.” It is pronounced. . . . are you ready. . . “FISH.”
The term “Ghoti” is a contrived word which was crafted to point out the idiosyncracies in the spelling of English words. Often attributed to George Bernard Shaw, the term actually has an earlier published reference (1874) citing an 1855 letter of one William Ollier. Now – are you ready to learn why “Ghoti” is pronounced “Fish”?
GH – as in “enough”
O – as in “women”
TI – as in “nation”
Ta dahhhhhh. . . . FISH. James Joyce subtly references the word in his book Finnegan’s Wake (“Gee each owe tea eye smells fish“). And in the Klingon language of Star Trek, “Ghoti” means “fish.” Sooooo, if you’re ever captured by Klingons, you know how to ask for food. I wonder how they say “I prefer salmon. . . . “
Jesus in Islam
[An update of July 31, 2014] When the angel said: O Maryam, surely Allah gives you good news with a Word from Him whose name is the Messiah, Isa son of Maryam, worthy of regard in this world and the hereafter and of those who are made near to Allah. The Quran – Surra 3:45
His name is Isa Ibn Maryam. He was born of a virgin – Maryam – who gave birth to Isa by the miraculous will of God. It is believed by devout Muslims that Isa – Jesus – is a Messenger of God who was sent to guide the Children of Israel with the Holy Gospel. Jesus – aka “Isa” – is referenced in the Quran as being al-Masih (“The Messiah”). There is scriptural belief that Jesus will return on the Day of Judgment to restore justice and to defeat the Antichrist (al-Masih ad-Dajjal). I’ve discussed my journey through the Old and New Testaments and the Quran. The Old Testament for all intents and purposes foretells Islam as an Abrahamic religion. Genesis 17:20 reads: “And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation.” It would seem that the three Abrahamic faiths have more in common than they do difference.
The story of Jesus has recurring reference in the Quran. Mary – his mother – is the only woman mentioned by name in the Quran. She even has her own Surah (chapter 19). All of the Old Testament prophets play a prominent role in the Quran. Religion – to me – is a fascinating topic which is relevant today. One of the concerns – among Muslims – is that many cannot read. So they get their information from imams and politicians. Who often have a political agenda. And you know what happens then. . . . Witness the fires that burn in the Middle East and North Africa. That said, I find it easier to discuss religion with Pakistani cab drivers (see post of 8/19/12) than I do politics with anyone . . . . .
They Dwell Among Us
[A repeat from June 21, 2018] I’ve seen a few emails passed around with this title. I always delete them as I’ve felt the stories are so far fetched as to be unbelievable. Until last week. . . .
Scout’s Honor. I was on the train heading home after a long day. The train was crowded with a few folks standing in the aisles. This 30’ish woman sits down next to me. She takes an orange VISA credit card from her purse and – holds it in her hand – pulls out her cell phone and dials a number. And then in a voice loud enough to be heard 3 or 4 rows away, she says she has a question on her credit card. She needs detail on the last dozen or so transactions. She repeats the card number into the receiver. THEN (as if that’s not enough) after a pause, she repeats a family name and a calendar date (presumably her security information). THEN (of course) she read off the three digit code on the back of the card (“uhmm lemme see. . . two three eight . . . no two THREE eight“). For the next 15 minutes, with phone shouldered to her ear, she proceeds to dialogue on the telephone in this highly public place about questioned purchases (one charge was – I kid you not – 9 cents). She’s writing them down.
I do not believe we should have educational tests or intelligence tests or any other criteria (than citizenship) for a person to vote. But maybe there is something to having a “Stupid” test. This woman would be the poster girl.
By the way, I just bought a great bunch of new books on line, some shoes for Donna, a new Martin dreadnought guitar, I booked us a trip to Europe and I . . . . . OOOOPS . . . never mind. . . .
Renaissance Hombre 