Scott’s Knees

A good way to explain my experience with a personal trainer. Repeated from November 7, 2013.

“Scott’s Knees” — A Play in One Act

Right Knee:  What the heck is he doing to us?

Left Knee:  He’s a nut.  He’s pushing me to the limit.  I’ve had enough.  Enough!

Right Knee:  Who is it that’s pushing him? 

Left Knee:  It’s that “personal trainer”. . .

Heart:  (Enters)  Hey guys – cool it.  I’m okay with this.  I really feel for you but knock it off.  You’ve caused enough trouble.   

Left Knee:  But Boss (thinking) . . . . it’s the feet.  It’s their fault.

Feet:  (From offstage)  Huh?  Whuh?   

Heart:  Take it easy guys.  I’ll talk to . . .

BrainAhemmm . . . . Is there a problem here? 

Heart:  No – we’re just kinda talking, Sir.

Left Knee:  (Filling with fluid from fright)  Yeah . . . I mean yes.  I mean yes Sir.

Brain:  (Angrily)  I want him to exercise you two troublemakers.  And don’t give him any problems.  Remember – you can be replaced.Capisce?

Left Knee:  Okay okay. . . Sir.

Brain:  Right knee? 

Right Knee:  Yessir.  I’ll be good.  Promise. 

Brain:  Okay.  ‘Nuf said.  And Heart – you keep pumping and keep those two weaklings happy.

Heart:  (Pumping vigorously)  Will do.  Sir! 

Brain:  Thank you.  Now if you don’t mind, I have got work to do.  I have to help cook dinner (exits).


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