The only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.  ~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.  ~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.   ~ Kevin Costner

After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.  ~ Jack Benny

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.   ~ Jack Nicklaus

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.  ~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.   ~ Bob Hope

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.   ~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives.
~ Lee Trevino