The only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray
The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner
After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. ~ Billy Graham
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf. ~ Bob Hope
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives.
~ Lee Trevino