Thank you, Captain. . . .

On By scottpetersenIn Thank you CaptainLeave a comment

(A summer repeat from 5/28/2012)

One of my favorite stories relates to Napoleon — the Grand Emperor of the French Republic.*  Napoleon was at a parade of troops outside of Paris. His Marshalls, his staff and his officers were all present. As Napoleon was reviewing the troops, alone and from a distance, a small animal ran from a bush startling his horse. The horse bucked. Reared up. And Napoleon fell backward in his saddle, clinging precariously to the reins. No one moved. Except for a young private who sprinted from the lines. His rifle clattered to the ground. His hat flew off. The private grabbed the reins of the Emperor’s horse, unceremoniously shoved Napoleon back into the saddle and snapped to attention.

Napoleon looked around. At his Marshalls. His generals. His officers. And then down at the young private. In a booming voice, Napoleon said “Thank you. . . Captain.”

The young man was flustered and asked “Of what regiment, Sir?”

Napoleon laughed. “Of my personal guard.”

The example of this courageous, young private can be an inspiration for all of us.  

*Source – Billy Sunday, the Man and His Message by William T. Ellis

That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard

On By scottpetersenIn 7th Grade, UncategorizedLeave a comment

We remember. . . . We remember and recall things that happen to us — especially when we were young. Things that our parents may have said. Done. Friends. Strangers. School. And I remember. With clarity. Fast backward – I’m in 7th grade. Mister Noren’s science class. I don’t remember what the topic was but we got on the subject of liquid nitrogen. I’d probably been drawing silly pictures on my papers (that’s another story) when I got a brilliant idea. Soooooo. . . . I raised my hand. . . . .

Let me back up again – just for a moment. I was never much of a student. I rarely raised my hand in class. Rarely studied (my parents both worked so why bother?). Science class for me was like doing algebra with the Cyrillic alphabet. So . . . .

Mister Noren is talking about liquid nitrogen and how it freezes everything it touches. I have a dozen things noodling through my small brain when I had (what I thought) was a brilliant idea. And I raised my hand. The shock of that act probably stunned Mister Noren but he overcame his surprise and pointed at me. “What would happen if doctors injected liquid nitrogen into cancer tumors?” I mean it sounded like a logical question though that notion was not shared. Mister Noren looked at me and said (I believe I’m quoting) “that’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.” And he went on talking about liquid nitrogen.

A few of my friends turned and hooted at me – but as I learned several decades later, there is a cryotherapy treatment that is occasionally used on certain tumors. I regret I didn’t follow up with a medical degree. And a Nobel Prize. . . .

The Seder

On By scottpetersenIn The SederLeave a comment

[A timely repeat from May 4, 2017]  Years ago, I was asked to teach Sunday School at our church.  A September to May obligation.  I said “sure” and was promptly given the 6th grade class.  We had a textbook which I was supposed to use religiously (no pun intended).   But I have to confess that from the beginning I often ad-libbed.  Uh oh – Mister Petersen is going rogue . . . . .

While I stayed with the basics of the curriculum, I took liberty to discuss relevant questions within the context of the day’s chapter.  And I would bring in occasional people and things to enhance the one hour class.  The most memorable improv was when I conducted a Seder at the time of Passover.  I enlisted the help of two Jewish friends for guidance.   One gave me the blue Haggadah (the order of the Seder) which was in English and in Hebrew (I still have it).  And both tutored me in this solemn ritual.  They wanted to make sure I had the protocol down to a tev (or “t”).

Donna helped prepare the kosher meal.  And I set the table in the 6th grade area.  Plates, platters and potables (grape juice instead of wine).   Then the students began to arrive.  They looked around like – whoa! Mister Petersen is off the grid.  And they sat down – and I began with an explanation of Passover.  And the Seder.  And its significance.  And a Passover prayer.  The hour went quickly.  Elijah made his obligatory appearance.  The food was consumed.  And I did the cleanup.  I guess I did okay because the next year I was asked to continue teaching 6th grade Sunday School.  I did so until finally one year I said “no mas.”   

Fast forward twenty plus years.  The Sunday School Seder was long forgotten.  Until we saw some old friends from church.  And their son Eric.  He walked right up to me “hello Mister Petersen!”  And he immediately began to bubble about the Seder being the most memorable time of his Sunday School career.  Gosh.  Kinda makes me wish I hadn’t said “no mas.”      

Just for a Half Hour

On By scottpetersenIn Just for a half hourLeave a comment

[A repeat from August 17, 2019] In July 1970, my college roommate and great friend Ox and I were driving out West in my 1964 Ford Falcon Sprint ragtop.  We were destined for Spokane to drop Ox off at Fairchild AFB for survival training before he was to head off to Viet Nam.   On the way, we were cruising an interstate — approaching Las Vegas from the East. It was probably 1:30 in the morning.  Pitch  dark.  But when we were still 75 miles away, we could see the arched glow of Vegas in the distance.

We drove through Vegas and continued North to Nellis AFB (I was a tag along).  Ox checked us into the base VOQ (visiting officer’s quarters).  Ox – an Air Force second lieutenant; I a retired Boy Scout. It was probably 2:00 a.m. . . . .

On getting to the room and dropping our bags, Ox’s first words were – “let’s go into town.”

My response “Are you kidding?  I’m tired.”  Ox said – “Oh c’mon let’s go in for just a half hour.”  I thought – half hour.  I looked at my watch.  We’d still be back by 3:30 or so.  And so I capitulated. . . . .  Half hour. 

Upon arrival into downtown Las Vegas – we were mesmerized by the famous corner with four casinos.  And we sauntered into the Golden Nugget.   A 25 cent slot machine called my name. . .”Scotty . .  come to me.”  I fished in my pocket and found one quarter.  I put it in, pulled the handle, and bells began ringing.  And lights flashing   I had won a $47.50 jackpot.  I was rich.  I looked at Ox and said “Ox – we’re gonna leave here millionaires.”  

Later on – at around 10:00 a.m. — we drove back to Nellis.  Considerably poorer than we had arrived.  We slept for a few hours and drove on to Reno to try our luck again.  Regrettably, I won no further jackpots.  At least at a casino. . . .

Rocket Man

On By scottpetersenIn Kim Jong UnLeave a comment

[A repeat from September 21, 2017] Kim Jong Un will never be a “hero.”  Kim Jong Un and his two forebears have been monsters that have guzzled the lifeblood of their people.  North Korea is little more than a brutal and dehumanizing gulag posing as a nation.   The poor souls of North Korea are dying like flies.  Starvation.  Illness.  Abuse.  With no care, no concern, no sympathy from the Rocket Man.  Who lives like a god. . . . .

If you want to get a feel for the abyss that is North Korea (beyond The Orphan Master’s Son) there are three TED Talks (12 minutes each) that I would suggest you watch.  Two are offered by Korean women who lived in the North.  One escaped (her tale is captivating).  The other was brought in as a teacher to sons of the elite.   The third is a young man who was orphaned at 13.  And he escaped to China. https://www.ted.com/talks/joseph_kim_the_family_i_lost_in_north_korea_and_the_family_i_gained  and 
https://www.ted.com/talks/suki_kim_this_is_what_it_s_like_to_go_undercover_in_north_korea  and 
https://www.ted.com/talks/hyeonseo_lee_my_escape_from_north_korea  These TED Talks are powerful, incisive and compelling.  They should make you angry . . . .    

How do you deal with incarnate evil that is Kim Jong Un?  He won’t change. It would be nice if China would encourage refugees to cross the river and allow resettlement.  But presently, China captures refugees and sends them back to North Korea where most are then killed.  If China changed this policy, maybe they could be a hero. But at this point, that’s too much to ask. . . . . 

Moshi Moshi

On By scottpetersenIn Moshi moshiLeave a comment

Long ago, I had a year long course in the Japanese language. In addition to conversation, we studied the phonetic alphabet (hiragana) and to a lesser extent the Chinese characters (kanji) and characters used for foreign language translation (katakana ). While I can still offer the usual niceties, I can also reveal to people that I am the great blue-eyed legend (“watakushi wa seigen no hakuryuu densetsu“). Anywayyy. . . .

We all get robo calls. Spam. Unwanted nuisance calls. A regular for us is some pushy character who calls once a day from some sketchy “support” group. When I see the caller ID say “spam” or “robo” I will occasionally pick up the phone, pause and offer “go ahead.” And then hang up after the opening “Mister Petersen, I’m from the . . . . ” (click). It is normally advised not to say “Yes” (our words are likely recorded). Yesterday, the phone rang. I looked. “Spam.” So I decided to speak in a non-traditional manner. I answered the phone as you would in Japan. I adopted a higher pitched voice, picked up the receiver and whispered “moshi moshi.” There was a pause and I repeated louder – “moshi moshi.” At the other end, there was a cough and the deep voice just said “sorry – we’ll take you off our list” (click). Donna was standing right there and gave me a nod and wink. And we laughed! We’re off the list!!

So next time the phone rings and you look down and see “Spam,” you might try answering in Japanese (“moshi moshi“). Of course it could be embarrassing if it turns out to be your child’s 4th grade teacher. Or someone from the Nippon Foundation . . . .

The Hospital

On By scottpetersenIn HamasLeave a comment

According to Hamas, hundreds of souls perished in the recent rocket attack on the hospital in Gaza. However – as we now know — it was not Israel that fired the rocket. It was the Islamic Jihad – or an errant Hamas rocket. Some theorists suggest that Hamas did it on purpose — killing their own people as they have done for decades. We also know, the rocket fell in the parking lot (not on the hospital) and casualties were significantly lower than reported by Hamas.

For years, Hamas has hidden behind civilians of Gaza. Using children as human shields (as they are now using hostages and their own people). Over the last few decades, Hamas and Hezbollah rockets would indiscriminately rain down on Israel. They would make incursions. Kill innocents. With Israel responding as needed. Yet I have to wonder why these organizations keep getting a pass – while Israel is faulted for defending itself. And why the left celebrates the indiscriminate murder of Israelis (I mean really?). Now we have October 7th. I’d be interested in your “take”? What should Israel do? I trust the destruction of Hamas would be at the top of your list. . . . .

Unidentified Flying Objects

On By scottpetersenIn Unidentified Flying ObjectsLeave a comment

Between 1947 and 1969, at the height of the Cold War, more than 12,000 UFO sightings were reported to Project Blue Book — a small, top-secret Air Force team. Since then, UFO occurrences seem to happen on a regular basis. And apart from visual sightings of UFO’s – some involve “close encounters” and even a few involve “abductions” (which may explain the personalities of some of our politicians).

I wondered about UFO sightings pre-1947. Was anything going on in 1946? 1857? 196 A.D.? The quick answer? Darn tootin’. Soooooo . . . . fasten your seatbelts my fellow ufologists (those who study UFO’s). The ride apparently starts 3000 years ago. . . .

The earliest recorded UFO sighting purportedly took place in 1450 B.C. in Lower Egypt (Jebel Barkal). The Tulli Papyrus reports that a “star came down” to set fire the adversaries of Thutmose III. In 218 B.C. Livy recorded that “phantom ships” were seen cruising in the skies above Rome. In 7 B.C. Plutarch reported that the sky in the Roman Empire “burst asunder” with flames falling between two armies set to do battle.

Fast forward a millennium, in April 1561, residents of Nuremberg reported seeing a triangular object in the sky. Soon this object morphed into hundreds of spheres, cylinders and other objects that flew overhead. In August 1566, spherical objects appeared to fly out of the sun. In early 1803, a local fisherman reported finding a strange vessel with small windows adrift in the waters off Japan (Hitachi Province). And a woman emerged speaking a strange language. On August 12, 1883, the astronomer Jose Bonilla counted 400 UFO’s coming out of the sun (he allegedly took photos). And the list goes on.

I’m sure that all of these sightings can be explained as meteors or shooting stars. Then again. . . .

Burning Leaves

On By scottpetersenIn Burning leavesLeave a comment

(A fall classic – first posted on September 11, 2016)

For millennia, folks have been burning garbage and “stuff” with relative impunity.  The smoke was often choking.  And sometimes toxic.  Now – thankfully – there are limitations on such activity.  

But. . . . as a kid, I remember my father – and other men in the neighborhood – raking leaves in the fall.  And ushering them out to the street – at the curb – and lighting them up.  Saturdays and Sundays in October were the optimal days for raking, gathering and burning leaves.  And the distinct smell of burning leaves was overpowering.  And – from my recollection – not so unpleasant.  Everyone burned their leaves.  I mean what were families supposed to do with them?  My dad would stand – smoking his pipe – and talking with the other men.  As the leaves burned. . . . .   

I tend to think it would be nice if for a few hours in the fall, everyone could spoon some dead leaves out to the street.  And burn them.  Like the “good old days” (did I really say that?).    I don’t need a “bad for the environment” speech.  Or “think of what it does to your lungs.”  Or “aren’t there regulations?”  Just think about sharing an indelible olfactory moment of an autumn afternoon long ago . . . . .

The Drinking Glass

On By scottpetersenIn The Drinking GlassLeave a comment

[A repeat from May 3, 2020] When I was a kid, our kitchen and each bathroom had a “drinking glass.” The one in the kitchen was usually a jar of jelly that when empty doubled as a glass. In our two bathrooms, we had plastic glasses. 

These glasses were rarely washed.  When my parents or I wanted a drink, we held it under the faucet, rinsed it out, filled it up and drank.  If the plumber came over and wanted a drink – yep – he’d rinse it out and drink.  My friends Eddie, Arthur, Curt and Chico had the same protocol in their homes.   We’d be out playing and one of us might yell “I’m gonna go get a drink” and disappear into somebody’s kitchen to rinse, fill and drink.  Or maybe not “rinse” as the case may be. . . . .   

I remember that occasionally my mother would take a sponge to the glass when there was “buildup” on the bottom (no, I don’t want to think about it either).   But otherwise, the drinking glass was there to use.   Today – many want an unused glass for every drink.   Sometimes if one switches from water to Coke – a new “fresh” glass will be employed.  Other folks will employ paper cups (or even those crinkly plastic ones) for each new libation.  Use once.  And toss.  As some readers might know, I’m not a big fan of killing trees or creating needless waste.   So I do – in the spirit of the 8 year old within me (that Donna says still make a regular appearance) – leave my coffee cup in the kitchen to reuse during the day for water from our filtered tap.  Regrettably though – it mysteriously disappears each evening into the dishwasher requiring a fresh cup each morning.