Month: December 2025

Feherty

On By scottpetersenIn David FehertyLeave a comment

[I’ve been thinking about golf. Sooooo – what better than a repeat from October 2, 2016] 

Anyone who follows professional golf knows the name “Feherty.”  David Feherty was born in 1958 in Northern Ireland.  He grew up playing golf and in 1976 turned pro — spending  most of his career playing in European tournaments.  He was good enough to make Europe’s 1991 Ryder Cup team.  He retired from the Tour in 1997 and joined CBS Sports as a golf analyst and commentator.  He is now with the Golf Channel and NBC Sports.

In 2006, Feherty went public about his long history of depression and alcoholism.  When Tom Cruise – actor and Scientologist – opined that only exercise can cure depression (and that drugs and therapy don’t help), Feherty responded that “actually, some sort of exercise would have helped me.  If I had kicked the #%&X out of Tom Cruise, I’d feel a lot better about myself.”  Gotta love it. . . . .

Feherty is known for hysterical one liners.

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chase a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

“Colin Montgomerie is a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.”

“If the green was where his ball landed, that would’ve been a great shot.”

[Jim Furyk’s swing] “Looks like a one armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth.”

[On Tiger Woods]  “I just stood there watching him walk past and thinking – ‘I don’t know what it is but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.'”   And there are so many more. . . .

In 2010, Feherty became a naturalized American citizen.  He lives with his family in Dallas.  And continues with the memorable one-liners. . . .

Heart Healthy

On By scottpetersenIn GLuten Free, Heart HealthyLeave a comment

[A repeat from May 22, 2014] Donna and I went to a restaurant the other night. The menu was peppered with admonitions like:
 LC – Low Cholestorol
 HH – Heart Healthy
 LS – Low Sodium
 PF – Peanut Free              GF – Gluten Free          And so on . . . .

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to see legends like FFF for “Fat Fat Fat” or HS for “Heart Stopper” or LC for “Loaded with Cholesterol” or MSS – “More Salt than Siberia.”  How about CG – “Calories Galore.”  I mean they put warnings on cigarettes (“you will die“) but the warnings on food rarely describe the effects of salt and sugar and the artery-clogging and unbalanced nature of fast foods, red meats and GMO’s.   

That said . . . . Burger King has a “Rodeo King Burger” (1,480 calories; 2,340 mg of sodium; 310 mg of cholesterol) to which you can add fries and a giant Coke (another thousand calories).   And – if you can go next door for a Sonic Blast beverage, you  tack on 1,540 calories.  Frankly, when I order a couple of Triple Whoppers, I like them with bacon and cheddar fries.  I finish with a massive piece of cheesecake.  Yum.  I wash it all down with a cup of black coffee with NutraSweet (certainly not sugar).  Now that’s living.   (Yawn)  I think I’ll take a nap.

I’m Goin’ to Trial

On By scottpetersenIn I'm Goin' to TrialLeave a comment

[A repeat from April 7, 2018] When I was in the Felony Trial Division at 26th and California, every day was let’s make a deal. Each courtroom had about 400 felony cases on call – with perhaps 20 coming up each day for status or trial. There was no way we could handle trials on all these cases so it was often let’s make a deal. A killing that took place in a bar fight might be reduced from murder to voluntary manslaughter if the guy plead guilty. But go to trial for murder? You’re looking at 14 on the bottom (and in some cases after 1976 – the death penalty). Soooo. . . . Let’s make a deal [in the spirit of February 16, 2022].   Most everyone did.  

Isaac R. was charged with armed robbery. He walked into a rental car agency at Wabash and Lake in Chicago swinging a sawed-off shotgun along his right leg.   A car hiker – sitting in a chair leaning against the wall – saw Isaac walking towards the glass-walled office. And he called the police. Isaac entered, raised the gun and the 7 women who were behind the counter all raised their hands.

Police arrived on the scene almost immediately and could see the goings-on through the glass walls. Guns drawn. Aimed. A Channel 7 news truck was driving by, saw the activity, stopped and began filming. When Isaac walked out, he was immediately arrested — on air — and taken into custody.

When his case came up, we assumed Isaac would plead guilty (can we please make a deal?) but he wanted a jury trial. And he wanted to represent himself — pro se.  A lawyer was assigned to sit with him and help.  My partner Al and I put on 6 of the 7 women as witnesses.  Two were nuns from a local order and two were teachers with second jobs.  Al and I wanted to put the Channel 7 video on but the judge asked –  smiling – “why?”  So we didn’t.  The jury was out for an hour and 20 minutes.  The reason it took so long was — the jury had lunch.  And Isaac (who had 3 other felony indictments pending) went away for a long, long time.   I hope he’s still there. . . .