Month: December 2025

I Get No Respect

On By scottpetersenIn I Get No Respect, Rodney Dangerfield1 Comment

[A repeat from March 30, 2014]   My wife made me join a bridge club. I have to jump off next Tuesday.

When I was in high school, a girl called and said “come on over. Nobody’s home.” I went over to her house. Nobody was home.

My wife is such a bad cook, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door. The roaches hang themselves in the pantry. Most guys go home and get pot roast. I go home and get roast pot. Did you ever see meat loaf that glows in the dark?  In my house, we pray after the meal. . . .

Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) was a classic (which may share a whisper about my sense of humor). Born Jacob Rodney Cohen in New York, he started writing material for stand up comedians at the age of 15 and began performing (as “Jack Roy”) when he was 20.  In the 1960’s he was performing stand up comedy at night and working as a salesman or singing waiter by day.  Nothing seemed to go right for him and he went deep into debt.  He came to realize that he needed a stage “image.”  Since nothing went right for him, the light went on over his head.   On March 5, 1967, The Ed Sullivan Show needed a last minute replacement and “Rodney Dangerfield” made his big debut.   And he was the hit of the show.  He was invited as a guest on The Dean Martin Show and then The Tonight Show – where he appeared on 35 occasions.  Rodney’s career peaked in the 1980’s when he appeared in the iconic movie “Caddyshack” and several other films (including “Easy Money” and “Back to School“). 

In 2001, he suffered a minor heart attack backstage at The Tonight Show.  And his health began to slide.  In August 2004, he entered the hospital for a heart-valve replacement.  When someone asked how long he’d be in the hospital, he responded “if all goes well, a week or 10 days.  If not, then maybe an hour and a half.”  He died a short time later – at 83 – and was buried in Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetery.  His headstone reads “There goes the neighborhood.” 

Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MecU2keW54I  for a laugh 🙂

These cookies aren’t very good

On By scottpetersenIn These cookies aren't very good1 Comment

[A repeat – and true story – from October 13, 2019]

In the past, Donna and I hosted a Christmas Eve celebration for family. It was always a smorgasbord dinner, exchange of gifts and a special appearance by Santa Claus. We would sing a few Christmas carols and all enjoy a relaxing and happy time.

A few days after one of those special days, I was grazing in the pantry — looking for goodies. I happened upon a neat plastic bag, festooned with ribbons and bows.  Inside were cookies made by one of my cousins. Hmmmm . . . .  Well, it didn’t take long for me to rip open the bag and shovel a cookie into my mouth. Chomp chomp chomp . . . .  Hmmmm . . . . The cookie was not very good.  I had another. Hoping to glean some nuance of sweetness. Or chocolate. But it was no go.

At that moment, Donna walked into the kitchen and saw me with the bag. I said “these cookies are not very good.” She looked at me like I was an idiot.  Arms akimbo, she shook her head. And exclaimed “Scott. . . . those cookies are for Daisy.” Hmmmm. . . no wonder.  I took another bite and then handed the rest to Daisy who sat at my feet.  Wagging her tail.   Maybe if I had put peanut butter on them . . . . 

Christmas 2025

On By scottpetersenIn Christmas1 Comment

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given . . . . and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, the mighty God, the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.   Isaiah 9:6

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem (because he was of the house and lineage of David). To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.   Luke 2:4-7

Here we are again! Christmas 2025!   There is an old expression that the days are often long but the years go quickly. How true. . . . .

Best wishes to everyone for a Happy and Blessed Christmas, New Year and Holiday Season!!

Try? Win. Don’t Try? Lose.

On By scottpetersenIn Incentive, Try? Win. Don't try? LoseLeave a comment

[A repeat from April 12, 2015] My father was born in 1913. In the late 1920’s, he was a caddy at North Shore Country Club in Glenview. He would take the “train” (streetcar) from Portage Park up to Waukegan Road and Glenview Road. From there, he and his chums would hoof east to the Club.  He would do one – or two – “loops” and then go home on the streetcar which ran down the middle of Waukegan Road.  His best tip as a caddy was a five dollar bill from one wealthy (and apparently grateful) member.  My Dad said he felt rich. 

What’s interesting was my dad’s clear recollection of what happened after work.  He and several other neighborhood boys would exit from the west end of the Club onto Glenview Road and walk around the corner.  Streetcars ran every hour or two.  Thus if a streetcar was approaching – or there – there was lots of incentive to traverse the quarter mile or so as quickly as possible.  My father said it was often the same conductor.  If he saw the boys — and he saw them running — he would look at his watch and hold the other arm in the air.  Holding up the streetcar.  Standing on the pavement.  Arm in the air.  One eye on the watch.  One eye on the boys.   However if one of the boys lagged, or slowed to walk, Mister Conductor would look up.  Twirl his arm in the air (“go!”) and hop on the streetcar.  And off it went.  And the boys would have to wait for an hour for the next streetcar home. 

My father said he learned a big lesson here.  About trying.  If they tried, and ran, or at least made an effort, the streetcar would be held up for a few minutes for the boys to arrive.  And then go.  That nameless conductor of nearly a century ago appreciated effort.  But he also knew something about charity.  It was simple.  Try?  Win.  Don’t try?  Lose.        

Robert Johnson

On By scottpetersenIn Martin Guitar, Robert JohnsonLeave a comment

[A cold weather repeat from May 19, 2013] What do Eric Clapton, Keith Richards, Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) and Scott Petersen have in common?   We have all been inspired by Robert Johnson — the godfather of the Blues. 

In my post of April 20, 2012 (“Martin O-18”), I talked about how I enjoy playing the guitar; how I played years ago in a group; and how I still play nearly every day.  And I enjoy playing the Blues.  The  grand master of the Blues and inspiration to so many of the greats was Robert LeRoy Johnson.  Robert Johnson was born in 1911 in Hazelhurst, MS.  At an early age, Robert began playing the harmonica, the “jaw harp” and the guitar.  Soon, he settled into life as an itinerant musician — playing in bars, juke joints and dance halls in the Mississippi Delta.   He would often arrive in a new town and stand in front of a barber shop or restaurant where he would serenade the town folk with Blues, pop standards, jazz or country music.  He was versatile and proficient. 

There are only two known recording sessions of the works of Robert Johnson:  in 1936 in the Gunter Hotel in San Antonio, TX; and in 1937 at the Vitagraph Building in Dallas.  The songs are grainy and yet iconic.   At the 3 day San Antonio session, Johnson recorded 16 selections, a few with alternate “takes.”  In Dallas, 11 recordings were made.  It is believed he did the sessions playing a Gibson L-1.  The complete collection of Johnson’s “discography” can be had for a few dollars on Amazon.

Robert Johnson enjoyed the company of ladies and he is known to have fathered several children.  And his dalliance got him into trouble.  On August 16, 1938, at the age of 27, Robert Johnson while playing in a dance hall in Greenwood, MS was poisoned by a jealous husband.  Johnson died and was buried in an unmarked grave nearby.

Robert Johnson is known for a series of wonderful songs but his most famous are Cross Road Blues, Hellhound on my Trail and – Sweet Home Chicago which was recorded in 1936 (see  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8hqGu-leFc ).  I would still like to get my old group back together but Donna has advised “Don’t quit the day job, Elvis.”   [But now that I’m retired, my “day job” has changed . . . . ].

A Lost Dog

On By scottpetersenIn A lost dog, Lyman Maine, Manuscript Society1 Comment

I’ve collected historical autographs and manuscripts since I was a kid.  I acquired the Chicago Rock Island Railroad archives – the contents of a 10 story building full of history – when the “line” went out of business (see May 15, 2014).  And for perhaps 30 years, I offered catalogs and listings of autograph material and was heavily involved with The Manuscript Society ( http://www.manuscript.org – see November 13, 2011). Clearly – manuscripts, archives and autographs have always been a big part of my life. But given my retirement – and thinking about the next “chapter” – I’ve been unloading the residuals of autograph material.   

There is, however, one item I’ve kept.  For a long time.   It’s not that “special” nor is it valuable.  It’s a cursive scribbling on a 4-1/2″ x 7-1/2″ blue-tinged sheet of paper from a little boy named “Nathaniel” to people in the town of Lyman, Maine. He’s looking for his lost dog:  “Lost – In this village a small spoted (sic) dog.  With red ears and a red string around the neck.   Whoever will return or give information of the same shall be suitably rewarded.”  It is signed “Nathaniel Hill.”  The letter is dated “January 19th 1854.”     

I look at this letter and think about the young boy who wrote it. And I wonder — did Nathaniel ever get his little dog back?  I sure hope he did . . . . .

Feherty

On By scottpetersenIn David FehertyLeave a comment

[I’ve been thinking about golf. Sooooo – what better than a repeat from October 2, 2016] 

Anyone who follows professional golf knows the name “Feherty.”  David Feherty was born in 1958 in Northern Ireland.  He grew up playing golf and in 1976 turned pro — spending  most of his career playing in European tournaments.  He was good enough to make Europe’s 1991 Ryder Cup team.  He retired from the Tour in 1997 and joined CBS Sports as a golf analyst and commentator.  He is now with the Golf Channel and NBC Sports.

In 2006, Feherty went public about his long history of depression and alcoholism.  When Tom Cruise – actor and Scientologist – opined that only exercise can cure depression (and that drugs and therapy don’t help), Feherty responded that “actually, some sort of exercise would have helped me.  If I had kicked the #%&X out of Tom Cruise, I’d feel a lot better about myself.”  Gotta love it. . . . .

Feherty is known for hysterical one liners.

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chase a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

“Colin Montgomerie is a few French fries short of a Happy Meal.”

“If the green was where his ball landed, that would’ve been a great shot.”

[Jim Furyk’s swing] “Looks like a one armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth.”

[On Tiger Woods]  “I just stood there watching him walk past and thinking – ‘I don’t know what it is but I know there weren’t two of them on Noah’s Ark.'”   And there are so many more. . . .

In 2010, Feherty became a naturalized American citizen.  He lives with his family in Dallas.  And continues with the memorable one-liners. . . .

Heart Healthy

On By scottpetersenIn GLuten Free, Heart HealthyLeave a comment

[A repeat from May 22, 2014] Donna and I went to a restaurant the other night. The menu was peppered with admonitions like:
 LC – Low Cholestorol
 HH – Heart Healthy
 LS – Low Sodium
 PF – Peanut Free              GF – Gluten Free          And so on . . . .

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to see legends like FFF for “Fat Fat Fat” or HS for “Heart Stopper” or LC for “Loaded with Cholesterol” or MSS – “More Salt than Siberia.”  How about CG – “Calories Galore.”  I mean they put warnings on cigarettes (“you will die“) but the warnings on food rarely describe the effects of salt and sugar and the artery-clogging and unbalanced nature of fast foods, red meats and GMO’s.   

That said . . . . Burger King has a “Rodeo King Burger” (1,480 calories; 2,340 mg of sodium; 310 mg of cholesterol) to which you can add fries and a giant Coke (another thousand calories).   And – if you can go next door for a Sonic Blast beverage, you  tack on 1,540 calories.  Frankly, when I order a couple of Triple Whoppers, I like them with bacon and cheddar fries.  I finish with a massive piece of cheesecake.  Yum.  I wash it all down with a cup of black coffee with NutraSweet (certainly not sugar).  Now that’s living.   (Yawn)  I think I’ll take a nap.

I’m Goin’ to Trial

On By scottpetersenIn I'm Goin' to TrialLeave a comment

[A repeat from April 7, 2018] When I was in the Felony Trial Division at 26th and California, every day was let’s make a deal. Each courtroom had about 400 felony cases on call – with perhaps 20 coming up each day for status or trial. There was no way we could handle trials on all these cases so it was often let’s make a deal. A killing that took place in a bar fight might be reduced from murder to voluntary manslaughter if the guy plead guilty. But go to trial for murder? You’re looking at 14 on the bottom (and in some cases after 1976 – the death penalty). Soooo. . . . Let’s make a deal [in the spirit of February 16, 2022].   Most everyone did.  

Isaac R. was charged with armed robbery. He walked into a rental car agency at Wabash and Lake in Chicago swinging a sawed-off shotgun along his right leg.   A car hiker – sitting in a chair leaning against the wall – saw Isaac walking towards the glass-walled office. And he called the police. Isaac entered, raised the gun and the 7 women who were behind the counter all raised their hands.

Police arrived on the scene almost immediately and could see the goings-on through the glass walls. Guns drawn. Aimed. A Channel 7 news truck was driving by, saw the activity, stopped and began filming. When Isaac walked out, he was immediately arrested — on air — and taken into custody.

When his case came up, we assumed Isaac would plead guilty (can we please make a deal?) but he wanted a jury trial. And he wanted to represent himself — pro se.  A lawyer was assigned to sit with him and help.  My partner Al and I put on 6 of the 7 women as witnesses.  Two were nuns from a local order and two were teachers with second jobs.  Al and I wanted to put the Channel 7 video on but the judge asked –  smiling – “why?”  So we didn’t.  The jury was out for an hour and 20 minutes.  The reason it took so long was — the jury had lunch.  And Isaac (who had 3 other felony indictments pending) went away for a long, long time.   I hope he’s still there. . . .