Month: August 2023

“Blessed” – or Lucky. . .

On By scottpetersenIn BlessedLeave a comment

Every once in a while, I hear people say, post or write “I am blessed” when good things happen to them.  But the easy – and often casual – use of that term – which suggests to the listener/reader that the Almighty has pulled some strings to provide benefit to a “special person” – feels a bit uncomfortable . . . . .

I am lucky.  Fortunate.  To be who I am.  To be living at this place in time.  This geography.  With my family.  In my post of April 9, 2015, I spoke of the lottery of birth.   This relates to each one of us. The twinkling spark that became YOU – or me – may have something to do with blessing.  But tell me why some good, faithful people in the world live painful and arduous lives?  Why do some souls endure suffocating poverty.  Hunger.  Violence.  Injustice.  Serious illness. Accidents. Are they less “blessed”?  In the words of Rabbi Harold Kushner, why do bad things happen to good people?    

I acknowledge God’s presence in my life.  And I do not discount our “blessings.” But how do we describe some poor person’s — or our own — misfortune? The lack of “blessing”? Or bad luck. . . . I’m just askin’ . . . . .    

A Warning – Some of the Images are Disturbing

On By scottpetersenIn Culture of Violence1 Comment

How often do we hear on the Nightly News the solemn offering “A warning to our viewers – some of the images are disturbing.” As if a little chaos, a dose of gunfire or a squeal of pain will cause great emotional agony to listeners. I’m not sure when this started but it seems to presume that American society is pretty fragile. Yet. . . .

Donna and I went to the movies a few weeks ago and saw “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny.” It was okay. Not as good as the first. Or second. But the prelude to the main feature was a series of perhaps ten “coming attractions” that . . . maybe I’m being too kind . . . . were little more than blood, gore, slaughter and carnage. On January 3, 2013, I posted on America’s culture of violence. Our numbing acceptance that young people can watch movies that glorify horror, death and fear.  Our children play (often for hours on end) the most violent, brutal, cruel and bloody video games.   There is the scalding inhumanity of and bloodlust for ultimate fighting and the degrading and debasing reality television shows where manipulation and back-stabbing win.  Hollywood sinks lower.  And lower.  But – hey – don’t you dare try and impose your values on anyone.   Don’t even think of mentioning the word “God” in school or a public place.   And heaven help you (pun intended) if you bring a Bible to school.   Certain people (who want to impose their values on you) will sue you and run you out of town under the guise of safeguarding liberty.  

And yet we hear “A warning to our viewers – some of the images are disturbing.” Really?

How to Build Strong Kids

On By scottpetersenIn Alice Virgil, How to Build Strong KidsLeave a comment

[A repeat from April 23, 2012] On April 15th [2012], I attended a wonderful presentation by psychotherapist Alice Virgil on raising strong and resilient children.   Ms. Virgil described two diametrically opposed family dynamics:  the over controlled family (I will make sure no pain comes to you) and the hands off family (life is tough – deal with it).   Ideally, a family wants to be somewhere in between.   Here are bullet points for achieving that objective:

Relationships — It’s important to have them.  Develop empathy with others in the sense that we are all in this together;

Creativity — Help children stretch their thinking:  how to make a meal, how to play with a cardboard box, how to be occupied without an IPhone or television;

Awareness — Develop social awareness such that a child learns to “read” situations and social cues;

Initiative and courage — Learn to do the right thing at the right time.  Learn how to work hard and put in effort to achieve;

Morality — Develop a moral code.  Learn what is right – and what is wrong; and

Spirituality — Develop a sense of purpose.  Learn that we all have a reason to be in this world.  Say grace at meals.   

Praising a child?  Absolutely.  But don’t praise results or outcome.  Best to praise effort.  

So what can parents and grandparents do to build strong and resilient kids? 

1.  Practice gratefulness — Discuss the best of the day – and the worst.  Teach joy and appreciation;

2.  Practice mindfulness — Give attention to the present moment with kindness, curiosity and compassion.  This helps children respond reflectively rather than reflexively;

3.  Emotion coaching — Help children understand their emotions;

4.  Develop a strong marriage and family home;

5.  Allow unstructured unsupervised free play — Forget the gimmicks, complex toys and oversight.

Ms. Virgil’s comments have been borne out by research and experience.   Ms. Virgil’s website is www.virgiltherapy.com 

I Am One of the Donkeys Here

On By scottpetersenIn Chinese language1 Comment

[An embarrassing repeat from December 13, 2018] A long time ago, I studied a bit of Mandarin Chinese. Then some years ago, I got back in the game with an intense 3 month Berlitz “immersion” course.  I continued for several years with my tutor – Weixin – who came to my office once a week.  And we would work on Mandarin.

Chinese is not as easy as it looks . . . . It can be challenging. There are four different tonal sounds such that each word can be pronounced four different ways — with perhaps a dozen different meanings depending on context.  Thus one must be very careful – when saying anything.  The only word resembling an English equivalent is the word “mama.”  And that will only get you so far. . . .

After the Berlitz immersion and a year or two of tutoring, I had the occasion to host several Chinese judges and lawyers at my Firm.  I thought to myself I will wow them with my resurrected knowledge of Chinese.  I took them on a tour of our offices and brought them into our Board room for a meeting.   At one point in my presentation, I noticed some polite laughter which I thought might be a result of my excellent elocution or my Shanghai accent.  However, as they were leaving, their translator pulled me aside and commented that when I tried to say “As one of the partners at Holland & Knight,” I had actually said “As one of the donkeys at Holland & Knight.”  You should say lu shi — not lu zi.  Partner.  Donkey.  Great. . . . . 

I have a feeling that my contretemps was one of the highlights of their trip such that the story will be retold with smiles and great enthusiasm.  Probably for years (sigh) . . . . .   

Masterclass

On By scottpetersenIn MasterclassLeave a comment

When I go to the local fitness center, I normally do some cardio, weights and then devour a box of jelly donuts (I’m just kidding about the weights). Anywayyyy. . . . the cardio machines (recumbent bike, treadmill, elliptical) can be pretty boring. Fortunately, all have a plug in arrangement so you can watch television. And I also have my phone – to listen to music or watch something else.

Several years ago, my daughter Lauren and her family bought me a subscription to Masterclass (www.masterclass.com). At first, I would watch occasionally. But recently, I’ve become a devotee. I usually skip the television unless there’s major news breaking. These days, I tune in to Masterclass offerings on my phone. I’ve done Steve Martin’s series on comedy, Chris Voss on negotiation, Aaron Sorkin on writing and so on. There are some really blue ribbon “teachers” who are offering blue ribbon classes.

Masterclass (under the name “Yanka Industries”) was founded in 2014 by a chap named David Rogier – while he was a student at Stanford University. The site launched in 2015 with three instructors and twelve classes. Today, Masterclass has more than 100 instructors who offer classes in eleven different categories (food; design; entertainment; music; business; sports; writing; science; home; and government). The cost is $120 annually which in my book is pretty reasonable. My next course will be “How to Make it Big on the PGA Tour“. . . . .

Topwater

On By scottpetersenIn The Angling Marketplace, Topwater1 Comment

As a kid, I never went fishing much. But fishing lures? My father did some work for Heddon’s – the old fishing lure company in Dowagiac, Michigan. He made wax-dipped paper tubes for storing fishing rods. I would sometimes accompany him on trips to Dowagiac and the nice Heddon folks would always give me a few lures to take home. Sooooo. . . . I acquired a fair number of old lures. And I was bequeathed my great uncle’s fishing tackle box. With a few lures from the 1930’s. Fast forward to today. . . . .

Donna and I are doing some downsizing of “stuff.” No plans to move. But pondering the next chapter. My tackle box is jammed to the gills – no pun intended – with fishing stuff. One fellow offered me a “hundred bucks or so” for the lot. And I thought to myself – I can do better than that. Then a good friend suggested I check out The Angling Marketplace which has monthly auctions for lures, reels, rods and anything related to angling. I did and promptly signed up. Over the course of four auctions, I have netted over $450(!).

My collection of lures is slowly dwindling but so far so good. The process is pretty easy so I will probably give it another go. Oh – and my name on the site? “Topwater.”

The Death Penalty

On By scottpetersenIn The death penalty2 Comments

The murderer of 11 souls at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh was just sentenced to death. What do you think? What should we do with such people?

In 1977, I prosecuted an early death penalty case in Illinois after the United States Supreme Court gave states the green light to proceed with capital cases. William H. was charged with killing two pharmacists at a small pharmacy at Halsted and Madison Streets in Chicago. As a contract killer, William H. had murdered perhaps 15 other souls. One by one by one. After a three week jury trial at 26th & California, he was found guilty. After another week of testimony on sentencing, the jury voted unanimously that he should die. On January 6, 2023, I posted on how William H. – during the trial – had asked if I would get him a candy bar. And being the soft soul I am, I did. Though I donned track spikes for closing argument. My opening lines – with finger pointed at William H. – “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, here sits before you – the grim reaper of death. Taking fathers from children. Husbands from wives. And sons from mothers and fathers.”

The death penalty. . . . what do I think? Juries voted unanimously that it was appropriate for the Tree of Life killer and for William H. Then again. . . .

While the death penalty can be justified, life without parole in a maximum security facility may be more deserving. To wake up each morning for the rest of your life. Early. Behind bars in a 6 foot by 9 foot cell. The screams and yells of others. Barely edible food. Danger lurking at every turn. Boredom. And, capital cases can be more expensive financially (for taxpayers) – appeal after appeal after appeal by those on death row. Going on for years. Compared with the more modest fiscal cost of life in prison. What should we do with such people?

And furthermore . . . .

On By scottpetersenIn Life after high school, MillenialsLeave a comment

[A repeat of January 11, 2020] On September 7, 2014, I posted on “Life after High School”   The post suggested a one year curriculum for high school students on balancing a check book; shopping; simple first aid; spending money wisely; relationships and respect; job interviews; nutrition; cooking simple meals; raising babies; investing; and so on. These are topics which a young person could put to good use after high school. Many kids will go to college. Many will not. But learning how to respect a spouse, show your best to a prospective employer, and deal intelligently with a screaming baby would be a plus for everyone in America.

But there are two additional courses that I would add for high school students.  History and economics.  Studies suggest that millennials are not taught the important events, participants or dates in American history.  And few learn the basics of economics.   And of course millennials are now taking courses on “how to be an adult.” This variety of courses might be offered to some of our political prospects . . . .